The Life Cycle of Hosting a Simple......Slumber Party

All of you who have hosted one know exactly how it goes.

It all starts off about two months before your kid’s birthday you ask her what she is thinking about for their birthday.  They answer is always, Sleepover!!!  Like the Pavlovian dog that you are, you get this weird feeling in your stomach, maybe even wince a bit, possibly cock your head to the side wondering if you heard right and then think to your self didn’t we have one of these last year?  Yes, yes, we definitely had one of these last year.  You say, “what ever you’d like” knowing full well that you will try every approach to try to convince her that she’ll want to do something else. 

4 weeks before her birthday, you realize that you have to send out a save the date for her party and ask her again, "so, what were you wanting for your birthday?  Shall we go painting, or roller skating, or jumping, or (god please get excited about any of these)" and she says “sleepover!!!!” and then you pull out the piece de resistance and say…"what about…chuck e. cheese??  And she pauses (you get hopeful for the possibility of hosting a party NOT in your home) and then looks and says “nah.  You said I could have whatever I want and I want a sleepover”.  Oh, alright, fine. sigh.   Sleepover. 

You hit “send” on the invitation so now it is real. Like childbirth, you’ve forgotten about it.  The details are vague and so long ago and you’ve conceded to another kid.

I get optimistic and actually start to think how great it’ll be- the kids are older…..it is going to be so much cheaper than a party party….we will play pictionary…..have a dance party….it’ll really be the best birthday. 

The day comes and guests arrive at 3pm and everyone puts their stuff in their spot.  A nice and rolled up sleeping bag, a pillow, a bag and timid smiles. You’re like, these girls are amazing, why did I ever not want to have a slumber party?  I’m such a bitch.  Look at my kid, she is so happy.  They’re all having fun and laughing and getting along.  This is going to be super easy. 

Whew.  What time is it?  Oh, it’s 4pm.  Wow, I really thought it was later. 

Me- Ok, “who wants to play Pictionary?!?!” 

Them- Not us, we are playing with the toads and the dog! 

Her- Not me, I am writing in a diary. 

Them- Not us, we are playing marching band with all of the instruments in your house..

The other one- I’m hungry! 

Me- Oh, ok, maybe later. 

My hopes for containment fail me.  Oh well, they are having so much fun.

The time comes when they all yell in unison- We are hungry!  We want dinner. My birthday girl specifically said that the menu should be only Macaroni and Cheese (from the box) with NO SALAD OR VEGETABLES and bread.  Basically, carby and colorless is the theme.  Oh and gummy bears for dessert. And then cake and whipped cream. 

Stop passing and inhaling the whipped cream around the table.....that's nitrous oxide!!! YOur parents will be very upset if I return addicts to them.   Gah!

Kids have now separated into dyads and the oh-so-difficult triads.  They’re getting tired, but, don’t you DARE mention that to them.  They are all going strong still. 

I suddenly stop and look around and it looks like an outdoor concert after the concert has ended.  All I am seeing is pieces of paper, cups, plates, crayons, socks, shoes, blankets, toads, beads, scissors, pens, macaroni, stationery, glitter, marker caps, popcorn, crumbs everywhere.  Holy mess.  We clean.  They “help”.

We have them get into their pajamas and brush their teeth and get them selves sorted and claim a space on the living room floor.  Ahhhh, this is so great, you think.  Now they’re relaxed, ready for the movie.

Movie ends.  9pm- when the slumber party really begins.  Everything else has been pie up to now.

10pm- Second wind- this is when kids start to get weird and loopy. They start wanting their mommies, tattle telling on each other (even bffs), where they’re hungry again (but you ate so. much. food.), where they want new spots on the sleeping bag floor, where they have to pee, when they have to poop.

Getting them ready for bed, take two.   Set them up cozily.  Put another movie on.  Wistfully anticipate that most will not even make it through this next movie and they’ll just drop off, one by one.  It’s so late.  They have to be tired.  They played so hard earlier.  For so long. 

Movie ended and I tiptoe out of my room to shut off the television and turn off all of the lights and I see them ALL awake.  They looked like bush babies.

actual picture of a sleepover guest taken with my phone  #nofilter

No sleepover would be complete without both ridiculous parents periodically coming out of their room to shush, and remind them to “whisper”, etc.   Futile efforts, for sure. 

Until....

12:30am, the big kahuna……me, coming out of my room, crazy haired, wearing only bra and panties, not giving a rat’s ass who sees what and I say “You people are ridiculous. Tomorrow you will still be expected to be daughters, and sisters and be part of a family.  I will just Sit. Right. Here.”  Now, secretly, you know you’ve waited your entire life to be this level of buzzkill.  To be the one to shut’er down.  You’re finally the scary adult.  The girls took turns looking up from the mess of blankets and bags on the floor like little prairie dogs.  One by one they fell.  No residual giggling or weird noises.  Finally they were silent enough that they fell asleep.  1am.  A bunch of 7-8 years olds.  1am!!

I walked back into my room, door ajar, and got back into bed.  I heard one girl cough and I said “Don’t even think about it”. 

Zzzzzzzzz.   We all sleep.

6am comes quicker than you wanted it to (doesn't it always?).

It starts off slowly….one tiny voice, then a few whispers here and there, then it crescendos to all out laughter and party time.  My husband and I are trying to stay in bed as long as we can until I overhear one kid say…I know how to make eggs and bacon…where are your pans?  Ok, we're up!!!!

As we begin to clean up, the “can you help me roll this up” wedding reception line begins.  Who in the hell ever created these sleeping bags that you had to manhandle to get back in their bag home?  The elastic bands for a better/tighter roll are a farce. 

Me- who’s sock is this?  What about this shirt?  Where is your other shoe?  Etc etc.

We finally get it all cleaned up.  

It is five minutes before the parents come to pick up kids when I look at the clean living room and they are all getting along and happily playing..…pictionary!

Then, everyone has left, your kid is happy and zapped of energy and whilst floppily playing with new toys she says “I want to do that for my next birthday too”! 

You’ll forget that you’re super tired and like childbirth....the details will grow blurry and lather, rinse, repeat, you’ll be doing this all again next year because it made her so happy.

PS-yes, I haven't written in the blog in a very long time.  2016 is the year of revamping old and fun habits, like this one.  And night club dancing. And baking.  And blogging about it all.

Yes, I also know that I no longer look like my picture and my profile info and tagline should be changed.  Out of respect for the person who started this blog, I will keep it just as is.

Bar-b :) 

Things I love about Houston, Texas

I will not talk about the heat, traffic, or crime. I will not talk about the heat, traffic, or crime.


Off the top of my head........


1. I am able to buy freshly made tortillas at the supermarket's bakery. There is literally a lady making tortillas there. Incredible.

2. The rodeo is a really. big. deal. It's in Feb and the WHOLE city gets revved up. I love it. There are even trail riders. Riders start off like 300-400 miles away and they actually ride through Houston.....for the rodeo.

3. The skyline. I just love it. *swoon*




4. The diversity in food. Really phenomenal. I could and should weigh 400 lbs. The food in this city is sublime. Whatever you fancy, it's here.

5. The Space Center, too cool.

6. Miller Outdoor Theater offers the most diverse season of professional entertainment of any Houston performance venue, and it's all FREE! Classical music, jazz, ethnic music and dance, ballet, Shakespeare, musical theater, classic films.

7. Discovery Green-an urban park in downtown. All events at the park are free and open to the public, unless otherwise noted. Discovery Green presents Houston's diverse world-class performing, literary and visual art in its Art Series. Discovery Green's Entertainment Series offers movies, Extreme Wii competitions, and concerts by talented musicians that showcase a rich variety of Gulf Coast and Central Texas sounds. For the health and fitness-minded, the Healthy Living in the Park series offers a weekly urban market and exercise classes such as Pilates, Yoga, and Zumba as well as a Hip2BFit exercise class just for kids. The Families & Children Series offers hands-on workshops and activities suitable for children and their parents. On weekends, families can visit the park, put their pets in one of two dog runs and watch their kids play on the playground while they discard their newspapers and cans into recycling bins.

8. The Galleria

9. Dive bars, all over town. Fabulous.

10. Bellaire China town, the food (dim sum, malaysian, korean, vietnamese)

11. Good salaries and cheap living.

12. People use "y'all" even in a professional setting.

13. I could seriously go on and on.



Do you know Houston? Woudl you agree, disagree, add, substract? or would you like to brag about your own city?????????

Today's Top Ten

I totally just made this up, but I felt like it. These are a few of my all time favorite things. I added a challenge to myself, it all has to start with the same letter. They are in no particular order. Oh yeah and some will be tmi (too much information), of course.

B for Barbie (which just turned 51 the other day)

1. Burlesque Dancing
2. Bollywood
3. Bubble baths with babes
4. Bars
5. Babysitters
6. Burmese food
7. Brazilian Wax (I have no link to this....:)
8. Beatboxing
9. Bargains
10. Blogging

Low Down

Right, so we've been busy. As you have been. It's the holidays, anything less would be weird. On top of being busy, we have had *snooze* dial-up *snooze*. You might as well have attached a blog post to a carrier pigeon and sent it on it's way.

Sigh of relief.....we now have a wireless "hot spot" in the house and my life is so much "faster". The problem with all of this is that we have had really important things happen since I last posted.

In an attempt to get caught up...I will just do a little, late 2009 "round up" so to speak...

• this beautiful daughter just turned 4

• this beautiful daughter will soon be 2

• this house was bought

• two weeks later, we had a housewarming party, here

• spent and celebrated Thanksgiving in North Carolina with our Cuban family(insert wonderful pictures of family, home cooked food, conversations, laughing and warmth with parents, sister, cousins, aunt and uncle and my abuela!!!!!)
  

• spent and celebrated our Christmas in Panama City Beach, Flahrida with our Canadian family(insert windy and cold beachy pictures of family, food, conversations, laughing and warmth with nan-nan, grandad, uncles, aunts and sweet sweet cousins!!!)

• we drove to said destination (11 hrs) with both girls. saylor riding rear facing too. having fun yet? Athena- "Momma, why (insert everything here), what (insert everything here), where(insert everything here), when (insert everything here)" and say the entire thing over 500 times. Then you would get a feel for the drive over. Rinse and repeat for the trip back.

• we drove back from said destination (11 hrs) with both girls. saylor riding rear facing too. still having fun? Michael has the audacity to ask me, whilst IN THE CAR, if we should take a road trip to Orlando to go to Disneyworld in early 2010. Are you having an embolism, babe? That is like asking a woman IN LABOR when she is going to have her next kid.

I probably think about blogging once a day but just could not get my shite together. I look forward to being able to post again and much more frequently.

Soooo, Happy New Year and remember to stick to your new year's resolution



......mine will be blogging, part deux.

OMG

I am alive. All is well. Thanks for the search party everyone, but I am just BUSY. I miss y'all though. I miss being the blogger and bloggee. There are plenty of awesome blogs that I have not read in a long time.

In a nutshell....

Found a house
Bought a house
Got a part time job
Left other part time job
Got sick
Got better
Enrolled Athena in Tap
Enrolled Saylor in music class
Lost my mojo
Will find it soon, *crossing fingers*
Needing halloween costumes for girls
Using last year's costumes for girls
Buying furniture for new home
Decorating new home
Watching Dexter on Netflix
Spending money on etsy
life
life
life

So, I just wanted to check in and say that I will be back soon. I have had many thoughts and want to share but it will have to wait :(

Oh and best news of all (being utterly sarcastic) is that our new house does not have dsl, or cable, or FIOS. It only has...are you ready.......

FB etiquette

There has to be some rules, somewhere. I swear, I feel so old and not "with it" when I am on facebook. The funny part is that everyone else is as old as me and probably less with it, kwim (know what I mean...for those of you less cool).

It is a place where you want to be you but realize that most of these people don't really know you because you have befriended half of North America. You have to censor your comments, remarks and pictures b/c there are ALL SORTS OF people on here. So when you are commenting on your "friend's" pictures and you really want to drop the f bomb (because it really is the right expletive) you don't b/c you don't know if this person has their mother, father, children, co workers, bosses, children, teachers, babysitters, in laws, etc etc etc on their friend list. This personal and professional site is a tough dance for me.

Now the actual procedure of "Friending" is where I get super frazzled. Let me walk you through it. I get a friend request from someone. There is no message attached to the request. I either 1. just know who you are because you went to school with me, 2. are a friend of a friend that I went to school with, 3. realize that I have met this person ONCE, or 4. have no clue who you are. I have a hard time with each of these. First off, would it kill any of you to put a little message on the friend request? I mean a short "great to see you on here" or "met you at the playground last tuesday" or "used to work with you ten years ago...I sat down the hall in a whole other department....but I want to be your friend on facebook". You know, something like that.

Secondly, why do you want to be my friend anyway? We didn't really care for each other in high school or college, why would it be different now? Or, I don't even know who you are. All of this promiscuous friending can lead to weirdness later. And if you are desperately trying to get to a "number" of friends to feel good about yourself or to feel popular, you are truly jacked up.

When I DO befriend you, you never write me, or comment on my pictures, or my status. What is the point here folks? Are you an acquaintance, lurker or snooper? This should be coined so. I would be ok with this b/c at least I would know what to expect from our "friendship".

All of the requests for pokes, games and trees and hugs. I don't get them, I don't play them. I don't really care what kind of cleaning detergent you are, ice cream flavor, which song you are, or what drink you are. Aren't all of you supposed to be working? I am a sahm, I am expected to be on the computer all of the time. These things make me laugh and I also laugh at the typos (grammatical and spelling) involved by the authors of the quiz.

All in all, I do happen to LOVE facebook. Most of it anyhow. I have just always pondered these questions and have wondered if any of you have too and what you have done about it. Are you "accept" happy or "ignore" happy.

Anyhow, as always, I have found a video on you tube to illustrate my point (or lack thereof).

Wanna be a mommy or daddy? Try this.

I got this as an email forward and was laughing my arse off...

MESS TEST
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick
behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

TOY TEST
Obtain a 55-gallon box of LEGOs (or you may substitute roofing
tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a
blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream
because this would wake a child at night.

GROCERY STORE TEST
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them
with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for
anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net
bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST
Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend
from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to
insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while
pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on
the floor.

NIGHT TEST
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12
pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00 p.m. begin
to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 p.m. Lay down your bag
and set your alarm for 10:00 p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and
sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more
and sing these too until 4:00 a. m. Set alarm for 5:00 a.m. Get
up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

INGENUITY TEST
Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint,
turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn
it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and
a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a Ping-Pong ball, and
an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel
Tower.

AUTOMOBILE TEST
Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream
cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a
dime. Stick it into the cd player. Take a family size
package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat.
Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There, perfect.

PHYSICAL TEST (Women)
Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your
clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.

PHYSICAL TEST (Men)
Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask
the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store.
Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be
directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home
and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT
Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how
they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet
training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can
improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their
children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last
time you will have all the answers

Big Love

We have HBO's show Big Love on our Netflix queue. We have been getting it now and have watched all of season 1, we are about to begin season 2. Fascinated (even though it is a show I believe loosely based on real life, I also believe creators did a lot of research on it)about the idea, practice, or divine calling which is polygamy (the practice or condition of having more than one spouse, esp. wife, at one time).

There are moments in the show, when I am like...."yes, totally into polygamy" and other times when I am like "Oh Hell, No".

Yes times-

*other people cooking for me
*other people taking care of my kids
*having time alone every three nights (read a book, or chat with friends...new, friends. sister wife friends)
*great looking family photos
*always someone to talk to and vent to
*I could be first wife
*great blog fodder

Hell, No times-

*sharing husband, I guess this is the really big no
*fighting with other women who are as smart and as "womanly" as you
*dealing with other people's pms other than mine
*cooking for many other people
*taking care of other sister wives' kids
*if I were second or third wife
*having to consult 10 people for anything we do
*having to lie to everyone we meet and not being able to have anyone over to visit because we have a plural marriage and household.

So as you can see, luckily, we don't live in Utah, and are not Mormons. I would have said "no way jose" before seeing the actual show, and now, I will just say "No, thanks".

There are also times when Michael says Yes! and No!!!! to the idea of polygamy. We can all imagine what his list would look like.

You take the good, you take the bad, you take 'em both and there you have.....polygamy, polygamy.

Chocolatier's Profiling, 6 hrs a week

Working smack dab in the middle of the mall, you see and hear, a lot. Not only with the customers that actually come up to the store but also the ones just fluttering about. Never having worked in retail really, and certainly never having worked in "food", this has been oh so entertaining for me. I am infinitely amused by people, and their behaviors, reactions and interactions with others. So, of course, I am selling chocolate but also analyzing the crap out of them. How is the saying.......You can take the therapist out of the therapizing, but you can't take the therapizing out of the therapist. Yeah, I just made that up.

Mentally, I have broken up my customers into some categories.

I have customers that come allofthetime. These are what I like to call my "frequent fatties". Most of these are well, robust, and of a sturdy weight. They are great. They look at the chocolate case with complete abandon and borderline lust. Listen, it's chocolate and I get it (I do!) but really, with these folks, you almost don't want to interrupt. These folks eat the chocolate almost before you are done ringing them up and they eat it fast. They complain a bit about the price and how little they get for it. Sometimes, I think to myself that they should be buying a hershey's king size bar and be done with it. Sorry, my blog, my thoughts ;)

People that ask me specifics about the nutritional values of the truffles and chocolate. Making me read calories, fat, and sugars. Breaking down the serving size, saturated fat etc, I call these "the buzzkillers". Taking all the fun out of it. It's chocolate, not jenny craig or wholefoods.

Coming only to ask "do you have samples today" and then not buying anything. Those are my "pretenders". Even though, I too, have done this and will continue to once I leave this job. It's still funny. They pretend to be interested and even comment on this or that, but they walk away....slowly....lingering at the chocolate case pretending to think about it. Nope, I'm on to you.

And then my favorite, we will call them "the connoisseur". This is the customer that asks how they are made, what percentage of dark chocolate is in them, what style of ganache, what is our new pieces, how one piece differs from another. I love having these convos with these folks. It is fun and we both are engaged.

The "storytellers" are the ones that have lived in Europe (germany, belgium, sweden) and have a story about the chocolate "over there" and how much better it is and how they used to love walking through towns and buying fresh choclate etc. These are fun to listen to.

Then we have the "lady's choice" customers. These are people who ask me my favorite and leave it up to me to choose for them. Even though this is fun, choosing chocolate for someone is really not easy. I know what I love but it might not be what you love. The difference bewteen Dark, Milk and White chocolate is immense (I know, I am being dramatic but it's true) so it is really nerveracking for me to do this.

Finally (for today anyhow) there is the "BTDT (been there done that)" customers. These are customers that come with another person. This other person has never been to Godiva and the btdt person is their "guide". Stuff they say is "this is their signature chocolate", "you'll love this one", "they do this one really well", "this one is my favorite", "you just have to try it to really see", "this isn't like other chocoalte you've ever had", etc. etc. etc. Fun, but obnoxious.

Anyhow, I will keep an eye out (of course I will) for new profiles of our chocolate customers. I hope no one from corporate gets wind of my talking smack about the peeps that come to the store. I haven't given anyone my blog (not that they are even one bit interested) at work, so I think we're safe.

This concludes this installment of Chocolatier's Profiling...back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

Go Diva!

5 Benefits of Dark Chocolate

• Studies have shown dark chocolate to lower blood pressure
• Studies have also shown dark chocolate to lower bad cholesterol (LDL)
• It turns women on more than a passionate kissing session (no wonder they want it for Valentine's Day!)
• Contains serotonin, a natural mood-boosting anti-depressant
• Stimulates pleasure-inducing endorphin production

Reading this you say.....how can this be true? How could the oompa loompas and Willy been right all along? Really, this list triggers a bunch of questions right?

Well let me share a story that will show you how truly committed I am to my health.

I was at our fabulous mall the other day. I was with a girlfriend and just strolling in and out of stores. It was nice, I had only one of the daughters that I heart with me so it was quite manageable. We meandered into the chocolatier named Godiva. What a great place; it smells and looks divine. The truflles are precisely placed within the glass case with the utmost of care, making them look more like jewelry and less like "just" chocolate. The gold boxes and ribbons strewn about are very inviting and just scream luxury and decadence. I start to chat it up with the sales girl and and begin to discuss chocolate and flavors and the such. All of a sudden (don't know if it was the endorphins running amuck), almost as if it was an out of body experience I ask her "are you hiring"? She smiles and says, "why, yes we are". She continues and says "only for part time though. I am looking for someone just a couple of nights a week". I smile wider and say "may I have an application please?" I take it and put it in my purse. As I walk out of the store, I realize that I could potentially be working there.

I get called for an interview the day I turn in my application. I excitedly agree and set up the time. I get dressed for the interview and try to get my head around what questions they will be asking. Thoughts run through my head...I have not worked for the past 4 years,....when I did work it was in mental health and in management....I only worked retail for a few years in college. I feel like I am a bit rusty. I go to the interview anyway.

We were enthralled in conversation and the interview felt like it was going great. I didn't realize how many many skills are transferrable. I also had to use examples from Mommy groups and Blazing Cheesecakes to complement my "tell me a time when you..." examples.

We wind down our convo, she seems happy with the way it went, she asked other pertinent questions like availability and stuff. I say that I am willing to work a couple of nights a week. I start to think that Michael will have to do the dinner/nighttime routine by himself and then I feel bad for him. Then I quickly remember that I would be missing out on the chaos and fun. Then I remember that I will be missing out on the chaos and fun.

I hope I get the job ;) It will be fun to mindlessly sell chocolate and all of the benefits of it :) Of all of my ideas though, I do find this to be one of my most awesome, brilliant, and superb AND moronic, nonsensical, and imbecilic ones. Being around chocolate, and not just any chocolate, Godiva chocolate. Tasting and "training" on all the different types and flavors. Sampling, "learning".

I should have found a job at the gym, or nutrisystem or Jenny Craig.

Oh well, IF I get the job, I will surely let you all know how it is going.

Bag Lady

This is a game that I have neglected to play b/c I just hadn't had the "time" to take pictures of my bag. I was tagged three times by three hot assed bloggers, Rachel, Katy, and Aubrey and it is time to divulge what's in the bag. Michael calls it my Monty Hall purse. I agree, but, I did need to clean it out recently so, here is the efficient version of my purse/diaper bag/back back/holder of any and all things.

Here is the my $22.99 Target purse in all of her glory....




I have taken a picture of it's contents for you. I did not, however, include the itty bitty pieces of papers, wrappers, coupons, random business cards, marker tops, rubber bands, pens, and stray tic tacs...even though I should have.


What is all of this you ask? Well we'll take it from the top, you have three jewelry boxes that I need to give to a friend that attended my "party", then I have blue panties for athena (really?), boogie wipes (first introduced to me by Katy), hello kitty stationery (yep, mine), a hot pink pacifier for Say, 3 handmade coffee cozies (thanks again Tammy!) for the oh so hot cups o' joe, walmart wipes, hello kitty wipe holder (really a pencil case but I improvised), keys with owl key chain for athena, herbal lip gloss that I bought at Sally Beauty Supply, wallet, sunglasses, and finally to complete my ensemble, a pair of babylegs.

So here it is. The Bag Tag game is now complete, except that I have to choose five people and I say (in a mardi gras voice) "show us yer bags". Don't be party poopers and spoil the fun either ;)

1. Amy
2. Becca
3. Megan
4. Wheezer
5. Amy

Have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Three Way Mirrors.....yea or nay?

There are truly some great arguments, some pros and cons, some good discussion about being able to see yourself in all angles.

We should because.....

1. We can see how our hair looks. Whether it is flat or there is a cow lick.

2. We can see how our ass looks. Whether it is flat or looks like a cows rump.

3. We can see how our back fat looks. Oh yeah, didn't see that when you were getting ready at home with your simple little mirror didja?

4. We can see how people see us in line, walking away from them, walking past them, getting up from our seats, etc.

5. We get a total picture of your being. Wow, that was deep.

We shouldn't because......

1. All of the above reasons. and....

2. We would become obsessed with looking at every aspect of our figure and how we move and how are hair lays and yadda yadda.

3. We would dance around and see how you look doing it. Oh, is that only me who does that?

4. It would take MORE time to get ready then it already does.

5. Finally, you probably would not leave the house.

All of these discoveries came after a recent trip to my dope dealer...er...I mean Target. I went in (ready for this?) with a couple of bikinis to try on for summer. I was taking the mature route and thought I could try these on early and assess the sitch.

Why oh why did I do this? I was feeling good about myself and my new found gym effort. I had broken up with my post baby bod and thought this was a thing of the past. Well, my post baby bod REARED it's ugly head again, in the three way mirror no less. I was like, who is in here with me? I fear my post baby bod texted me. I was going to text back, but I resisted.

I walked out like if I had just seen a live execution.

I pacified myself and said "It's ok Bar-b. It's early. And we are not getting back together, even if it is Valentine's Day on Saturday"

Like I mentioned earlier, I think the mirrors can be used for good and for evil. I will return to target's fitting room after I rent, eat, and digest Buns of Steel thankyouverymuch.

What do you all think of the three way mirror? Friend or foe?

In. Genious.

I feel like I have won a prize or something. I do. I have come across the most obvious answer to my prayers. Firstly, How many of you (mommas, especially stay at home ones) do not get to shower everyday? Can I get an Amen sisters???? It never seems to be the right time to. Someone is either up from nap, about to go nap, in the backyard, wanting to eat, wanting to stop eating, potty training, wanting a new dvd put in or out, etc. Even when I do get to the shower it is lightning fast and I usually forget to shave, or exfoliate or condition long enough. Need I go on?

So showers are left for when they go to sleep at night. The problem here is that I need to wash my hair when I bathe. that means I would need to blow dry it before bed and that just takes up too much time when I could be doing something else. I am also in bed by 9:30pm. Call me what you will but I have to be bright eyed and bushy tailed for the glee club at 7am. Second question... do any of you go to the gym?? Yes, I know a lot of you do (and if you don't now, you will after you read this). I go MWF when I drop off the big kid at her pre-school. Thirdly (I promise I am going somewhere with this), how many of you put your kids in the gym nursery included with your membership?

Ok, so do you see where I am headed?

First answer + Second answer + Third answer = (wait for it) A peaceful, unbothered, shower at the gym with no one tugging at the curtain or calling for you or wanting to jump in and say things like "feels like rain momma".

This is truly a new discovery for me. I have been a gym goer for years and I have never felt the need to shower at there. I was always like "gross, why would I when I could just come home and do it there". Well, the answer is BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T HAVE CHILDREN THEN, BRAINIAC.

Best part is, you've showered and blow dried in peace, your kid is happy as a clam in high tide in the nursery, and you are revved and ready to go. You will be looking good, presentable and fresh on your rounds...target, grocery store, playgroup, coscto, home. rinse and repeat.

So there, you all can take this idea and run (or use the elliptical) with it too.

"Where there's a will, there an A"

Remember that infomercial?

Anyhow, it is time to play a game. My blog bud Aubrey at Fam Five tagged me to play this game (actually I think I volunteered) along with her. RULES-She randomly assigns me one of the magnificient 26 letters of the alphabet and I have to then post TEN of my favorite things/words that start with that letter. I was secretly hoping for an X or Q so I could use my grey matter but then I realized that I don't really favor Quills, Quolls, or Quails, or Xrays, Xanax (wait....), or Xavier for that matter so then I sighed relief when I recieved the Flagship letter A!!!!!!!!!!

Here goes....

1. alive, being it is pretty nice ;)
2. attraction to Michael
3. affability (am I making up words)
4. aspirations
5. areolas, mine, glad to have them back after nursing
6. awesomeness (who doesn't?)
7. A1 sauce
8. amazon.com
9. Athena
10. Another perfect daughter :)

If you want to play let me know and I will assign you a letter too!!!!!!!

Whine and Cheese

Welcome to Bitchfest 2008. As most of you know I am a very positive person (sarcastic and snarky yes, but super optimistic and positive nonetheless) and I don't usually whine and groan about much. So, I felt it was time to get stuff off of my chest once and for all. These ten things run the gamut and are random.

• Houses with Christmas decorations already...no, don't adjust your screen....you heard right, houses with Christmas decorations already.
• Why does my book club have to choose brand new books to read that only come in hardback and a $25-$30 price tag? Not going to it this month out of principle.
• Athena's pre-school watching the clock for pick up. Your going to charge me after school program rate ($10). Really? for 3 minutes? hmph.
• Having to be 3 years old by Sept. 1st to be considered for a program that my brainiac would totally excel in. Sooooooo, kindergarten at 6 years old? Had I known I would have.....oh wait, right she was a surprise.
• Having to input an email address for everything you do, or having to become a member of something just to view pictures or respond.
• Those life like dolls they sell that look so real and they market them and say things like.....anatomincally correct???????? Can someone please tell me what these are used for. Actually, don't.
• Those people on craigslist? The ones that don't know what SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY means.
• When people make crafts, signs or cakes and have bad handwriting or things end up crooked.
• I cannot wait for Nov 4th to come and go already. All of these advertisements and freakin' emails have me batty.
• Why deos Saylor have to play with cords, sockets, wires, the CPU and our flatscreen tv. Why not the einstein crap or the fisher price nonsense? Riiiight, b/c she is 9 months old.
  
  Ahhhhh, that felt better, it truly did. So glad I did that.
  
  Oh and Happy Halloween!!!!! be back tomorrow with pictures of expensive costumes that the girls used for a total of 43 minutes tonight.
  
  oops, I let that last one slip out.

Mommy Dating

So I am out there once again.

Yes, I have begun mommy dating. On the prowl. Looking for Mommy Friends. I think it is time, I have been here for 6 months now and I think I need to get over my last Mommies (sadly enough). Any mommy friends at this point would NOT be considered on the rebound. I feel whole, I feel healthy, I am ready to commit to another Mommy or Mommies (nope, I do not live in utah).

I went on a mommy date this morning and it went well (crossing fingers). First date jitters and all and questions abound... "will she like me", "will I like her", "will I like her kid", "will my kid like her kid", "will her kid like my kid", "will my kid bite her kid", "will she be a 'talker' or a 'listener'", "will she get my humor", "will she even have humor". Many questions.

If I like her, how quickly after our playdate do I text/call her? If I don't like her how do I leave the bookstore politely? The kid! yes, we can always blame the baby. "She is so fussy I should go", or "I have to go and buy formula at the store" or "my other daughter's school just called, I have to go". This mommy dating is hard stuff. You don't want to be "that" mom but also don't want to be with "that" mom.

At the end of our date we kind of danced around the whole "so can I have your phone number?" exchange and setting up a future play date. Thoughts go through your head...Do I introduce her to my other daughter? She only has one kid so it is different as I come with "extra baggage". Do I really want to befriend a one kid momma? And the big question "could this mommy friend turn into couple friends? "Will Michael like Mr. Mommy Friend?" and the possible ways that that could go. Oh I know I am rushing into things already. I get so ahead of myself. Sigh.

Anyhow, I think it went well. There were smiles, laughing, lots of head nodding, and baby flirting going on. I think I should get an email or call soon. Right?

Hurricane Yikes

I just wanted to quickly blog and let all of you who are out of the proverbial loop that Hurricane Ike is coming to town. I have not been able to blog today b/c well, we've been sorta preparing for the storm. Everyone in the city (I think I am generalizing) was let out early from work and the streets were packed. We decided to go to the store and it was pandemonium. It was not nearly as bad as my Miami days, but, kooky nonetheless. The queuing systems are better here and the people are more calm and organized. We bought.....

• water
• batteries (C, AA, AAA, D, 9V)
  
• a battery operated radio
  
• canned foods (soup, beans, fruit, etc)
  
• almonds, and other nuts
  
• boxed milk
  
• flashlights
  
• candles
• toilet paper
• board games
• matches
• chips, cookies, bread, salsa, you know, essentials :)
• diapers and wipees
  
• new crayons, crafts, markers, and cardboard for the toddler without tv
  
• martini fixins for the adults with a toddler without tv
  
• fueled up the car
  
• got cash (shhhh, don't tell anyone)

We will surely have power outtages and be without our beloved computer and possibly our cell phones due to busy towers and all of that. This will all begin tomorro win the early AM but we are already feeling it in teh air. Gasoline stations are out of gas, restaurants are closed (Old McDonalds as Athena calls it was closed), retail stores are closed, Home Depot, Lowe's, home away from home (yes, Target) is closed.

We are ready though. We have some pretty cool neighbors and we'll all just help where need be come Saturday. In the meantime, I made buttons for all of us to wear and they look like this....

Love,
Tina Turner

Unknown (maybe) Barbie Love/Hates

I.................

1. hate to abbreviate words. I can't do OJ, AC, PB and J, veggies, margies, or PJ's.

2. love to save money. I love a smart bargain, I love to haggle, and I love to get a deal. I will (without real need) research and investigate something until I know I have gotten the best price anyone could get. I love to return stuff too.

3. love driving stick shift, can't imagine why people don't.

4. never ever answer my phone (home or cell). You want me, text me or email me. And yes, this is how I roll.

5. loved the show 24. Michael and I watched the whole show on Netflix. I am convinced this show is where Obama got the idea to run for president.

6. love to use curse words. Yes, I have other more sophisticated adjectives to use but I enjoy cursing.....what can I say?

7. love pick up trucks. Texas is a haven for these. The bigger the better.

8. break out in song whenever apropos, and especially when not.

9. have to mention that my all time favorite class to participate in has been a course I took in West African Dance in Philadelphia. You cannot imagine how grrrreat this class was and how much fun.

10.am obsessed with spelling. I have a dictionary with me in the car, in my bedroom and in my home office. The catch is, I rarely use spell check. In fact, I don't remember the last time I did.



This is a super random list of my love/hates. I have many more (as we all do) but I tried to limit it to ten.

I would love to hear yours. Yes, yours.

Potty Training coming to a Toilet near you........

So, it's Monday, Sept. 1st......mighty fine day to begin...dun dun dun dun.....Potty Training! Athena is about 3 months shy of being 3 years old, so we thought it was a good time to start. So we (Michael and I) woke up super gung ho about the idea.

We had 1. the potty


2. the rewards (aka...the stickers)


3. the pull ups
No, not these. These.

4. the panties (you'll need to read further to find out why these).



and thanks to Abu Mimi 5. The potty time Elmo movie.


Athena and I had the talk. "Baby, we are not going to use diapers anymore. You will use the potty like momma and daddy". She looked very serious but seemed to get it........so I thought. She said, "momma has black panties, and daddy has white panties". I said "yes, daddy has white panties" :)

We ran out of panties (which Abu Mimi also got her) and decided to go and get some at the store. There were so many options for panties. So many cute and frilly ones to choose from. Athena was looking at the ones with Care Bears, Ariel, Disney Princesses, Hello Kitty, and she seemed to be liking them. Well then she saw the Cars one. You know, that Pixar movie about the cars that are personified. Great flick. Well, Athena wanted the Cars panties....but the problem lied in the fact that these weren't Cars panties, but, actually Cars Boys Briefs. We watch our words carefully around the girls, never limiting them with what they can and cannot like or play with. So when I saw these and saw that they were briefs...with the slit and all, I didn't want to say to Athena "no, not these. these are for boys." She wouldn't understand about the front slit even if I tried to explain it. Well, it was going to be simple in my head-offer her two choices at a time and eventually b/c of the law of large numbers, we'd go home with a princess or a "my little pony" because SHE wanted it. Plan, Flawless. Execution, notsomuch. It went a little something like this....

me- ok Athena, do you want Ariel or Cars?
aba- ummm, I want Cars.
me- ok. Do you want Princess or Cars.
aba- umm Princess (me all excited...) no, Cars.
me- ok. Look at this Dora panty.
aba- how cute.
me- Dora, or Cars?
aba- Cars.

Cars it was.

So I have given zero stickers out today and have already cleaned the floor once and the sofa another time. It is only her (our) first day. I do have hope in the Blaze and hope that we get it soon. After all, if Elmo can get it so can my daughter ;)

How to go out to dinner as a family of four.....

1. do not always plan on actually getting to the restaurant, that would be first and foremost, just so you don't "set yourself up" for let's say.....dinner as a family of four.

2. pack a change of clothes for each child, a different sized diaper for each, snacks for the toddler (you know, for the 15 minutes it takes to get to the restaurant), juice box for the same ride, bottle of breast milk for baby, formula and scoop for extra (just on case she is hungrier than usual), rattle, space in your bag for the shoes that the baby will kick off, and finally remember your purse so that you have your real items like phone, wallet, etc.

3.plan on what you are having before you get there so that the order can be expedited (please don't think that you can actually peruse the menu leisurely). A part of you wants to phone your order in but another part of you wants to feel as though they are truly dining out so they stop you from doing this.

4.when parking the car ask the question "which kid do you want"? and follow suit. How parents of more than two children or a single parent do this....beyond me.

5. if you can sit outside do it, if not, pick a table that has 1. easy access to bathroom, or 2. next to another family of small kiddos.

6. when the server gets to the table, apologize ahead of time, and learn his or her name and smile frequently.

7. all a blur (you think you ate, you think you drank)

8. you rock the car seat, stick in the pacifier, tell toddler to use her fork, blow on her hot food, keep wine glass away from toddler, keep salt and pepper shakers away too, in fact you have given the server the sugar caddy when you first sat down.

9. ask for the check (now it has been confirmed because you are paying for the alleged food/drink).

10. leave restaurant and talk about how it wasn't so bad and look lovingly into your partner's eyes and say "remember the good old days" and the have you partner say "yes...but these good new days aren't so bad".

11. love your partner more than you did when you got there and realize that the kids will be going down to sleep the second they get home and know that you can then actually have a conversation with your partner.

12. blog about it the next day with a big smile and wonder when we'll be going out to dinner as a family of four again :)