Monday, August 9, 2010

Saylor had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb

Saylor had a little lamb whose vagina was full of cheetos.

So we've all read "tentacle bag", right? Well, apparently my 2 year old found out and decided she'd have a blog worthy ditty of her own.

I'm in my kitchen minding my own business or at least desperately trying to, and I look over to see a sullen Saylor. This rarely happens, so I decide to ask her...

me- What's wrong baby?

Say- mumbled sheep's vagina dirrrrty.

me- What, bub?

Say- sheep's vagina dirty

me- sheep's what?

she gets up from table and proceeds to shove Sheep's crotch in my face

Say- Cheetos on Sheep's vagina! A mess!

me- Oh. um. ok. let's wash it then.

she gets this huge smile and prances over to the tub and turns on the water

me- no, no, not a bath. I have to wash it in the washing machine. come on, over here.

we go over to washing machine. I toss sheep in.

Say- sheep's clean now!

Me- um, no, baby, not yet

another 8 seconds pass

Say- sheep's clean

Me- no, not yet

rinse. repeat. about 47 times.

Finally! The washing machine is done and now it's time to put her in the dryer. I transfer her from the washer to the dryer and Saylor catches a glimpse of her sheep. This was nearly catastrophic, I tried explaining to her about wet/dry/time/procedures. Nope. She wasn't getting it. Whine, whine, whine. Big fat tears rolling down her face, pout, just sadness all around.

Needless to say I took out the damn, damp sheep after about ten minutes. She grabbed her and hugged and said "sheep's vagina so clean".

Yes, baby, nothing like a clean vagina on a sheep.

I hope that big brother doesn't scan this last sentence and send who ever they send out for that sort of thing.