Friday, October 24, 2008

Mommy Dating

So I am out there once again.

Yes, I have begun mommy dating. On the prowl. Looking for Mommy Friends. I think it is time, I have been here for 6 months now and I think I need to get over my last Mommies (sadly enough). Any mommy friends at this point would NOT be considered on the rebound. I feel whole, I feel healthy, I am ready to commit to another Mommy or Mommies (nope, I do not live in utah).

I went on a mommy date this morning and it went well (crossing fingers). First date jitters and all and questions abound... "will she like me", "will I like her", "will I like her kid", "will my kid like her kid", "will her kid like my kid", "will my kid bite her kid", "will she be a 'talker' or a 'listener'", "will she get my humor", "will she even have humor". Many questions.

If I like her, how quickly after our playdate do I text/call her? If I don't like her how do I leave the bookstore politely? The kid! yes, we can always blame the baby. "She is so fussy I should go", or "I have to go and buy formula at the store" or "my other daughter's school just called, I have to go". This mommy dating is hard stuff. You don't want to be "that" mom but also don't want to be with "that" mom.

At the end of our date we kind of danced around the whole "so can I have your phone number?" exchange and setting up a future play date. Thoughts go through your head...Do I introduce her to my other daughter? She only has one kid so it is different as I come with "extra baggage". Do I really want to befriend a one kid momma? And the big question "could this mommy friend turn into couple friends? "Will Michael like Mr. Mommy Friend?" and the possible ways that that could go. Oh I know I am rushing into things already. I get so ahead of myself. Sigh.

Anyhow, I think it went well. There were smiles, laughing, lots of head nodding, and baby flirting going on. I think I should get an email or call soon. Right?

136 comments:

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

You are funny! I hope that this turns out to be a Mommy that you can date again.

A Buns Life said...

Thanks for stopping by! I'll have to read up.... ! :)

...love Maegan said...

omg....hilarious! Seriously, cannot wait to be a mommy!

Threeboys1mommy said...

Seriously Bar-B the funniest stuff I've read in a while,"don't live in Utah' Gold!

BTW you're featured in my latest post, I probably should have asked for permission before hand, but I know you're cool people. Hope you like it.

Caro said...

LOL...I need to start re-dating my oldies!

Domestic Goddess..Diva sometimes said...

Ahhh! The mommy dates. I did that last year and caught myself a good catch! ;) Hope you find yours soon! :)

Aubrey said...

Wow.
I'm tired! Mommy dating sounds tougher than any dating I ever went through. LOL

I'm sure she loved you! How could she not!?

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

I was always to intimidated to mommy date.

Ducky said...

This is a new concept to me. Thanks for keeping me in the loop!! Ha! Ha!!

Anna Lefler said...

Oh, this is hilarious...and so true...

Great post!

:^) Anna

A* said...

Um, you have to move here when I have kids. I want you to be my #1 mommy friend.
I love your kids!
I love your humor!
;)
Please go out with me.

Ok kidding.
How can she not love your kids or you for that matter, silly?

Lana D said...

Wait 3 days...

Shan said...

such a long post.... to say what i already KNOW!
you miss the shanster! DEARLY!

she misses you too miss cheesecake!

move on sister.... it's okay!
even if you become a mommy "player"... HA!

love you!

Carrie said...

Now that was funny!

p.s. I have a total momcrush on you. If I lived in Houston, I would so go out with you!

By the way, I can make your button fairly easily if you give me a picture.

email me at oikology101 at gmail dot com and we'll discuss further, m'kay!

Stephanie Graham said...

Nail on the head, sister...

Jori-O said...

Hilarious! And so true...

American in Norway said...

So funny! I am still doing the mommy dateing thing...Ugh... I just can't find anyone I am willing to commit to... sigh...congrats on your SITS day! ; )

Paige said...

That is a whole lot of anxiety for picking up some other woman. You could be me.

Swirl Girl said...

I have given up mommy dating and opted for blogging instead. All the warm fuzzy without all the commitment.

The Happy Mom said...

Ha ha! It's true though and I think most of us can relate. Sometimes "mommy dating" can be more stressful than "man dating".

Hope you find "the one" :)

Jamie said...

So funny & so true! Hope you get that call :-)

Karin Katherine said...

So funny, so true, and so frighteningly scary as I am about to do this again...ugh!

Yaya said...

That is too funny!

wendy said...

Oh my, this is so very funny...and so true! Glad it went well. I wish you the best with new Mommy friends!

Happy SITS day.

KC Mom said...

Ha!! I remember feeling that way when my kids were young. Love your blog header too!

Chuck said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kimmie0270 said...

Man do I understand that feeling. I'm going through the same ordeal right now. Making mommy friends is not easy

trashalou said...

of course!It had never occurred to me that it was dating but is so is!

Brenda Jean said...

Ahem...that removed by author post? That was me. Yep, I posted as my husband because he didn't log out of blogger. Putz. Don't you hate it when you meet a mom with no sense of humor, and then you get sarcastic and they look at you like you are insane? Oh wait, maybe that just happens to me? BAHAHAHAHA

HeatherY said...

That's so funny! I'm terrible at mommy dating!

Shelley said...

Congratulations on being featured on SITS. Funny blog. Hope you find a Mommy to date.

Preston said...

How funny you are. The gals at SITS said you are cute and they certainly were right!

Tabitha Blue said...

ROFL. LOVE it. I've never heard it put quite that way, but it's SO true!! :)

Creative Junkie said...

OK - this was seriously CUTE. I had never thought of it this way ... LOVED how you wrote this!

Imperfect said...

Congratulations on your SITS day! While I don't understand mommy dating I do understand trying to find couple friends. It's so hard to find a couple we both click with. And when mommyhood comes, I'm sure it will be the same way!

Eudea-Mamia said...

Oh, how I feel your pain! My awesome mommy date moved - she was the only one who agreed that a little wine with your whine was cool for a playdate.

Oops, too much information? Darn it, I do that every time.

Call me?!

Em

Noah's Mommy said...

OMG...this is so my life right now...only I'm a really a first time dater...like when I was 15....thanks for validating it all for me...

Kelli @ writing the waves said...

hahaha....it's so true!!! And then there's the whole scenario that the kids really like each other, but the mommies feel like they need some space. Then you're stuck with the dilemma of "do we stay together for the kids?" :)

Great post!

Heather said...

It's so nice to know I'm not alone out there in the trenches! Where, oh where, are all the good mommy friends?!?

Hope you get the call soon. :) Keep up the great posts!

Clippergirl56 said...

Not a mommy, but that was hilarious. Have a happy SITS day.

Elizabeth said...

Too funny! It's nice to know I am not the only one... :)

Mimi said...

Lol! You'll have to let us know what happened.

Heather said...

I totally thought this post was gonna be you on a first date with a guy...

Now I am laughing my fool head off!

I have so been there. Just never called it a "mommy date". That is perfect.

Congrats on your SITS day!

Mrs. S said...

So funny. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I've also had the Mommy Friend rejection; someone I've wanted to be friends with give me the brush off.

Man and Kat said...

That is so funny and yet so true!! Congrats on your SITS day!

Rachel said...

Totally have done this! I joined My Gym to "meet others moms." THat means I pay money to pick up mommies! Sad, sad, sad.

Jaden Paige said...

HAHA! I love this post, I've never heard of *Mommy dating*, but I can totally relate.

Becky said...

That's hysterical! I've never even thought of it as "mommy dating". But how true it is. I have one dear friend, we had children usually at the same time, that I could sit at McDonald's with for hours and hours. Love her to pieces, our mommy dates are important. Great post!

Ronda's Rants said...

Too funny...good luck with it!

Jacie said...

Hahaha! Funny.
Happy SITs day!

Ronnica said...

Very clever!

Hope you have a wonderful red, white, and blue SITS day!

Deconstructing Jen said...

Awesome post and so very true. Sometimes I think "mommy dates" are more stressful and nerve wracking than real dates. Men just aren't that judgmental, lol.

Mandy said...

Congrats on your FB day! This was too funny!!

Reluctant Housewife said...

Too funny and too true... Remember, no matter how much you like her, no hanging out without the kids until after the third playdate!

mine, by magpie said...

haah- so??? did you make a friend? i hope you find some friends soon- that's such a weird transition to a new place. happy sits day!

Heather said...

Oh, so very true! I am glad that I seem to be mostly past the need for mommy dating. Now that my kiddo's in school, there's a built-in social network: the PTA! :D Whew!

Cheers!

Legal Diva said...

I have 5 kids and it is SO hard to find a mommy date who can tolerate them and comes with enough kids so everyone has a friend! I feel your pain!

lmerie said...

Funny story!

Happy FB on SITS!

ScrappinAway said...

Oh, girl you are toooo funny! I never thought of it this way, but I guess it is!

The Tripp Family said...

hilarious! mommy dating is such a pain. There are so mnay "that" mommies out there... and I'm sure I've made that list a time or 3 :)

The Me/ The Wife/ The Mom said...

LOL! Too funny - too true!

Hey Lady - you need to write a "rules" book for Mommy Dating!

Great post!

mrsmouthy said...

I seriously believe that match.com should open up a friendmatch.com site or something. Choosing a friend is every bit as important--and difficult--as choosing a lifelong mate!

April said...

What a cute post! All of us moms have been there!! Have a great SITS day!!

barbara h said...

love your take on making friends. LOL. thanks for the smile!
hope you find some great mommies! :)

Danielle said...

My daughter is just turning one, and we have just moved to a new town....now you have me all nervous! I thought the whole concept of "dating" was over when I got married!

Brandy said...

That's a funny take on meeting new people...well, it would be funnier if most of it weren't true.

Emily said...

That is hilarious! Do we get a Mommy Date update??

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

If only it were as easy as it is on the playground:

I like your (insert truck or barbie). Thanks, wanna play?
Yes.
We are best friends. :)

namaste said...

You are hysterical! I would Mommy date you!

Aleta said...

This was too funny! I loved it. I don't have children, so at first I was thinking, "hmmm... this seems.. odd." And then I realized ~ love this post!

Melissa Lester said...

That is so funny, but true. It reminds me of a play date last week with a mom I am getting to know from my daughters' preschool. We hit it off so well, I have been trying to sell my husband on her husband ever since. Just this morning I was telling him we should "family date." He kind of likes us being single, so I may have to spring a double date on him!

Kristy said...

Good luck on "Mommy Dating" I need to do the same. I've been at our new duty station for a month and need some new Mommy Friends!

everyday mom said...

Hilarious, I like to group date!!

Shannon said...

Very funny! And very true... think we've all been there!

Enjoy your SITS day!

Melodie said...

I love it! Been there, done that. Except for me, I was trying to break into a group of moms. It took me a long time to feel like I was "in" with the group.

spleeness said...

haha, I never thought of it like that, mommy dating. Funny post! I think it's like this anytime someone is looking for more friends to open up their circle...

Michele said...

Fabulous. I think we have all been there. :-)

zenmom said...

Oh, awesome! You have to keep us updated on how things go on the mommy-dating scene. Don't forget to play the field a little, there are a lot of mommies in the sea. :) Good luck! Mommies need other Mommies!

Felicia Eis said...

Ah you have enspired me to find my own mommy date. I don't have any mommy friends other then those online (its sad I know). Now if only I could find the time around school.

Rhea said...

This post was adorable! Hilarious and cute. So true...finding friends can be just as challenging and confusing as dating. I love the way you wrote this.

Saundra@An Italian Mama Gone Crazy said...

So cute! I need to start Mama Dating too. My last Mamafriend is no longer a good Mamafriend.

Great idea for a post!

The Boss Lady said...

That's hysterical...a couple of weeks ago, I took my preschool son and a few of his friends on a field trip. I was so jazzed to go...until I found out that another mommy would be riding with me, ALONE in the car for about 45 minutes. I literally spent all morning thinking about what we were going to talk about. In the end, I couldn't shut my mouth and she couldn't get a word in edgewise. Hey, I was nervous!

Karol said...

That's awesome...atleast she didn't lean in for a kiss! lol

*happy SITS day!

EmmaP said...

hardy-har-har! too funny! well, the other questions are ... is there a 3-day rule for phone calls/emails when mommy dating??? Who makes the next move? very clever post!

Mama Mia said...

Very funny, I have So been there!

justjuli said...

HeeHee! This is funny - but also kind of true. There's an element of dating when meeting new friends.

I was on a few of these recently, and they can be just as awkward as the "romantical" kind!

Happy SITS day!

Lump said...

hahah too funny! :)

happy SITS day! Congrats :)

Nina said...

Why is it so hard to do this. I have made play dates with my son before but I have met all the mom's from birthday parties prior to the play dates. The parties were a great way to get a feel for the mom's I would like and not like. However at the end of the day this is more about my son and his choice for friends and I try to keep my feelings out of it. I did say I try, right. :)

tida6 said...

It is tough to make friends with other moms. I find myself being a hermit just because I am afraid of my kids being bullies or the mom not liking me. I have to say your post gave me courage. I really need to just be myself and let the kids have fun.

:)Thanks!

What A Card said...

Oh funny! I know just what you mean. Hope you've found some good mommy dates :)

Mommy of M's said...

How funny!! I thought it was just me!!

Kathleen said...

I love that you named it Mommy Dating. You're very funny! Happy SITS day and I look forward to reading more of your blog.

Honey Mommy said...

You are a riot! I know EXACTLY what you mean. Sometimes it is so hard to find the right Mommy friend!

Liza said...

omg, this is hysterical! And all so true!! I love it!

Jen said...

too funny, but don't we all feel the same way?

Heather said...

Oh my gosh, I had never thought of it like this but it is so true and so funny!

Becky :) said...

How cool, never thought of it as a Mommy Date. Good way to put it though. I usually meet a lot of my Mommy friends through my boy's sports. Then we inevitably have something in common.

Happy SITS Day!!!!

The Fishers said...

This is so funny! I think most mommies can completely relate!!! I hope it was successful and you have had a few more dates!

Happy SITs day!!!

april kennedy said...

oh..too funny! I do love though when I meet a new mommy and we completely click! or is that clique!!

meg said...

Congrats on the SITS feature!
Funny, but thought provoking- it is hard to find Mommy Friends & it is rather like dating :-S
Fortunately, both those activities are waaaay off my radar- the "baby" is graduating from high school in May, & Hubby & I have just celebrated 20 yrs of marriage :-)

littleeverydaythings said...

I feel for you so much! I just moved across the country and it's hard trying to find friends, both mommy friends and couples. I enjoyed your post and it was very cleverly written too :) Good luck finding a cool mommy friend. Happy SITS Day!

Tranquility said...

You are too funny!!
I feel your anxiety.

Cassandra said...

Wow yes. What anxiety! And I'm such a shy mommy type too...

Rhiana said...

How Cute! Mommy dating. LMAO....

Kerrigan Boys said...

So cute and true! Maybe I need to get on with the whole mommy dating thing...I have been here for two years. It is probably way past time to start dating! :)

Brooke said...

Pretty funny. And cute blog.

Marrdy said...

That was very funny!! I live in Utah and I haven't been on a Mommy date for a couple of decades!

Melanie said...

Ohno, mommy dating! You THINK dating is all over when you say "I do," and even more so once you have kids but nooooo it's just begun. Hilarious read - and I needed a smile today!

Tiffany said...

It's so hard to make new mommy friends!!!

Momma Chae said...

Darn.... now I'm hungry for cheesecake! And there is no cheesecake in sight.
Cute post! I know exactly how you feel.

Jenni said...

This is hilarious. Last year I moved and refused to make friends for like four months because I was so sad leaving my other mommy friends. Then I gave in and went through this process you so cleverly describe. I had one failed "Mommy date"--the kids didn't really gel. Which was for the best 'cause I wasn't diggin' his mom anyway! Luckily the rest went well and I have adult conversation again.

Laurel Plum said...

LOL!!! You described it so well! I am sitting here nodding up and down. You are definitely a Mommy friend I would want!

Elizabeth said...

Finding new friends after a move is difficult. It's nice to have children which can open some doors for you!

angie said...

Funny! Seriously, you sound great - I don't think you'll have any problems!

Finding Normal said...

I so need to go on some Mommy Dates. I've lived here for 10 years and still only have a handful of friends.

Hairline Fracture said...

That is so true--I do get nervous when I want to introduce myself to another mom and ask her out on a playdate!

Sherilyn -The Dominee Huisvrouw said...

I think we can all relate to this! Hope it works out b/w you two!

The Wife O Riley said...

I had a similar situation when my oldest daughter was in dance class. I was trying to woo the other dance moms. Good news is that most of them are some of my best friends now.

Nicki & Mathis said...

Congrats on your saucy blog!!! This post is too funny!! :) I love your sense of humor, and your blog is absolutely beautiful!

Michelle said...

Oh that is hilarious! I absolutely love this -- and can soooo relate to it. So did she call????

dddiva said...

Hahahaha too funny- I am so glad I am past mommy-dating. Now with so much extended family thanks to dh, I guess I don't have to gigi date. ;)

greedygrace said...

This is great! I need to go on Mommy dates, too!

Mama's Losin' It said...

SO true! I love the break down. It's not easy making new friends!!

Just say Julie said...

Love it! I remember those days. Now I make teacher friends :)

Stephanie said...

Holy cow, that is exactly how I feel! I think Mommy dating is even harder than regular dating was back in the day. Yeesh!

Jennifer said...

This is too funny!! Hope you get an email or call soon for another Mommy date! Congrats on being the featured Saucy girl today!!

Robyn said...

You must be a city mommy. ( I didn't read your bio yet.) The idea of mommy dating frightens me because I would have to allow other peoples children to run amuck around my house. eewww... I know that sounds awful, but my house is crowded with 3 boys and 1 teenage girl - that is enough. I prefer to blog now. I don't have to do my hair, figure out what to wear, and then drive forever to get someplace. (We live in the country.)
Kudos to you! I hope you find a match. I'm somewhat envious that you might live close enough to a park to play in with your new mommy and friends. Good luck.

Mamasphere said...

I bet this rings true for most of the moms out there. It sure did for me! I find it especially hard to meet other moms because I work full time and can't make all those mid-day non-weekend mommy events and play groups. When you DO find that other mommy, though, isn't it the best? You'll have to let us all know how this one turned out!

Rachael said...

Great post! It cracked me up, but it's also SO true - it's just as hard as dating, isn't it?! Ah for the days of being 8 and walking up to someone and saying "hey, want to be my friend?". Why can't we do that?

Esther said...

I've never heard it put into words or even realised that's what I was thinking...but that's exactly what I've thought at times. I'm fortunate to have found a "keeper" and even better, we are now "couple" friends.

mylitlbratz said...

Congratulations on being featured on SITS. I gave up on mommy dating and opted for blogging instead. You get it all without the commitment...

mrsbear said...

Just thinking about it gives me anxiety. I don't make too many mommy friends, and yes, I get crazy like that with the questions, the doubts, the nerves. Great post. Hope you find your mommy/mommies match/matches soon.

MammaDucky said...

I'm such a nervous Mommy dater. I feel like I should post a "missed opportunity" entry on Craigslist for the near-mommy dates I screwed up.
I must be getting better. I have a second date with a Mommy this weekend.

Adrian said...

Mommy dating? Wow, there's a whole new world out there. I think I need to go find me a Mommy date.

Just popping over from SITS a day or so late.

Auds at Barking Mad! said...

Hilarious.

Hope this blossoms into a wonderful relationship! *lol*

Linked from SITS. Am loving your site and your humour!

jubilee said...

I am getting ready to move, so I, too, have mommy dating anxiety. I always get tongue tied and my mind goes blank. I am so used to talking to kids that the whole adult conversation thing is . . . um . . . difficult.

I sure enjoyed this post, you crack me up.