Wednesday, May 29, 2013


Efficiency efficiency efficiency is my modus operandi.  I've always taken great pride in this, and still do.  Why do ONE thing at a time, when you can do THREE, right? Recall this blog post ?

Well, what I may have come to realize is that I may be, perchance, a lazy sod disguised in said 'efficiency'.

I mean, I am of the belief that if you don't ask the answer will always be NO, right?  It all started years ago when my nemesis (clean clothes in the dryer) was ridiculing me from the INSIDE of the dryer (heartless bitch, I know).  I had our fantastic babysitter come over one night.  She does a great job taking care of our children, and that is it (like she doesn't cook or clean or whatever).  As she walked into the house that night, I could hear (in a Tell Tale Heart sort of way) the taunting going on from the dryer. You'll never fold me.....wrinkles are cool.....I've been sitting here for daaayyyyssss.......your husband knows that you have dried me again and're not fooling anyone.......      It was awful, and loud.  As we walked out the door of our house I pulled the sitter aside and said "please, fold my clothes and put it away. I know its not your job, but, I'll pay you an extra $5", she said "sure"! That my friends was the beginning of the end.  It fed right into my doers vs buyers mode, 'member this blog post?

Well boys and girls, I've hit a new "level of efficiency", so to speak. 

I bought this beauty....

and put it up on the kitchen counter.  I think I bitched a little at myself for buying it whole, but, I saved so much money buying it this way!  I wasn't going to get all caught up in the up selling of already cut up watermelon, what a racket.  Well, the watermelon lingered on my counter, longingly wanting to be part of one of our desserts, taken to school for lunch, or even infused in vodka (my other M.O.).  I hadn't gotten around to preparing it, cutting it, cleaning up the sticky, fructose'y mess that all of that juice would leave on my counters and probably floors.  So, it sat there.  Until, *light bulb*, I had an idea.  I had my housekeeper coming over today.  I like to leave when she arrives, so that she doesn't wonder why the hell I can't clean my own damn house.  Well, I left her a note today, next to the watermelon that read "please prepare me", well, more like "Por favor, cortar y preparar".  I wrote that note and bolted out of my house like a meth head.  The audacity.

I hope I get home and find it looking like this....

or in all honesty, like this........

Lazy :)

1 comment:

Cindy said...

Love ya, ya lazy sod! I buy watermelons like that weekly during the summer. Those stars were bad ass!