First, Pluto's demotion, now this.

The cheesy pick up line, "what's your sign?" may now have to be, "what's your new sign?" Or better yet....“Hey, baby. What's my sign?”. The zodiac signs have shifted is what Parke Kunkle (of the Minnesota Planetarium Society) is saying. The astronomer told the Minneapolis Star-Tribune that during the last three thousand years the Earth’s axis had shifted almost 10 degrees, which caused the alignment of the stars to move up to about a month and therefore affected the astrological signs that were established five thousands years ago by the Babylonians.

w. t. f.

I mean, it's like your parents dropping the bomb at 36, that you're adopted. It's like, huh? I 've been living my entire life thinking that I was this and now I'm that? Whoa.


But wait there's more....if you call within the next thirty minutes, you'll get a thirteenth zodiac sign for free. Yep, a whole NEW zodiac sign. Ophiuchus. Gesundheit. No, no, this is the new zodiac sign. It is wedged between Scorpio and Sagittarius. What are the traits of Ophiuchus horoscope?

The 13th sign of the zodiac, unlike the other 12 signs is actually associated with a real person. In the 27th Century BCE in Ancient Egypt lived a man known as Imhotep. Imhotep was known as ‘Aesclepius’ by the Ancient Greeks, however the attributes are the same under either name. One of Imhoteps abilities was healing and it is said that it was he who introduced it to mankind. His accomplishments also included a wide knowledge of medicine. The serpent or snake symbol which is still used today to symbolize the medical profession was also used to represent Imhotep. Below is a list of attributes associated with the Serpent Holder, Imhotep i.e Aesclepius. The descriptions below are associated with the 13th sign - Ophiuchus.

• Many people are envious of this subject as he progresses well throughout life.
• A seeker of wisdom and knowledge
• Many people are jealous of this person
• Tends to go for the more flamboyant in dress sense, favouring bright colours.
• Authority looks upon him well.
• Would make a great architect or builder.
• Number 12 is this persons lucky number.
• This person will have a big family but leave home at an early age.

Can't you just see the keychains, tee shirts, and coffee mugs with this on it? Or new serpent tattoos that people born from NOVEMBER 30 - DECEMBER 17 will be sporting? Of course they'll all be redone from their present Sagittarius, Archer tattoo.

This is the Zodiac as some astrologers believe it should be:

ARIES = APRIL 19 - MAY 13
TAURUS = MAY 14 - JUNE 19
GEMINI = JUNE 20 - JULY 20
CANCER = JULY 21 - AUG 9
LEO = AUGUST 10 - SEPTEMBER 15
VIRGO = SEPTEMBER 16 - OCTOBER 30
LIBRA = OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 22
SCORPIO = NOVEMBER 23 - NOVEMBER 29
OPHIUCHUS = NOVEMBER 30 - DECEMBER 17
SAGITTARIUS = DECEMBER 18 - JANUARY 18
CAPRICORN = JANUARY 19 - FEBRUARY 15
AQUARIUS = FEBRUARY 16 - MARCH 11
PISCES = MARCH 12 - APRIL 18

Whatever. Super confusion is all I say. So all I have to do is recalculate my horoscope, my husband and my family's and Bob's your kunkle.