Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Reason #46 why groupons rock

First, please, watch a minute or two of this....

Now, doesn't that make you go "WHOA"!!!  "Awesome"!!  "I'm buying the next groupon I see!!!!"??

Omgosh,  Me. Too.   In fact that is exactly what I went and did.  Bought a g-pon for parkour.  Oh you don't know what parkour is?  You think its practicing occultists or sorcery on your screen, don't you?  Well, this is what is called Parkour or l'art du déplacement.   "Practitioners aim to move quickly and efficiently through their environment using only their bodies and their surroundings to propel themselves, negotiating obstacles in between. Parkour is non-competitive. It may be performed on an obstacle course, but is usually practiced in a creative (and sometimes playful) reinterpretation or subversion of urban spaces. Parkour involves 'seeing' one's environment in a new way, and imagining the potentialities for movement around it". Thanks Wikipedia, (what DID we do before Wikipedia.....oh yeah, I remember the Encyclopedia Brittanica).

So, I bought it, registered, signed the waiver (that seemed to say "if I bust my ass, I relinquish any right to a lawsuit because.....well, sorry, there really shouldn't be an IF, you will bust it"), made a reservation for an outdoor class in our beautiful downtown and went on my merry way to z class (my fake french accent for Parfaux).  I was early, had all of my documents scanned and emailed to the instructor, had my workout wear.  Dude, I was ready to bust my ass do this!  I wanted to leap tall buildings in a single bound, I wanted to creep up the side of railings like a cat or play leap frog with cement.

As soon as the class began I knew that I would NEVER, EVER, be able to do any of that.  Like, never. Ever.  Had I started training in my mother's amniotic fluid then maybe and then just a big maybe.   The funny part to me was that I did not hurt myself.  I mean, I wasn't even good enough to hurt myself....are you understanding me???? Like, my movements were like a record on 33 rpms, so it never got dangerous or anything.  I was moving like a snail.    The instructors were incredibly patient and awesome and I had a great ass time.  I really loved it. I was actually looking forward to the next outdoor class!  It was fun and different and got my body moving differently than usual.  I waved au revoir to my new friends and took my sweaty, yet super giddy self home to tell Michael all about it.

The next day, I went to the park to walk.  My friend didn't show up so I was on the trail by myself. I saw this bench calling my name.  I was going to practice what I had learned, on that lonesome bench.  I had this. 

Cue in the ass busting.

Oh my god.  ouch.  I managed to scrape/bang/bruise/wallop my right shin on some new move tomfoolery. I could barely walk the rest of the way to the car.  What a dummy, I was.  Typical day in the life of me, though.  Thinking I can master something, INSTANTLY.  Wrong, once again, Babs.

 I needed these for a couple of days

and I couldn't even shave over the patch of red/black/yellow.  It was all just a big misunderstanding between my leg and the bench.

Anyhow, that was a whole month ago and I am now healed and ready to go back to the class.  I am, however, going to finish out my groupon and go back to the safety of my.........


1 comment:

Cindy said...

ha! Ha! training in yo mamma's amniotic fluid no doubt! you still have that scar no??