i heart 2 girls

There are the Doers and the Buyers

2011-09-23T14:03:00.001-05:00

and never the twain shall meet. This is the way that I categorize my mom friends...or maybe just my friend friends. Nothing brings this more to light and the disparity between the two than good ol' halloween. My daughter asked to be a cardinal for halloween (I quickly realized that it was not the leading dignitary of the Roman Catholic Church, nominated by the pope, but, the bird). My first thoughts were 1. where do I buy that, 2. can I buy it off of the St. Louis Cardinals' website, 3. how much is this damn thing going to cost, 4. I need a coupon code for costume stores and the frenetic thoughts continued. So, I'm telling my friends (here is where the divide is so effing apparent) and some of their eyes light up......(and their frenetic and oh-so-crafty minds begin)..."you are going to have SO much fun doing it. well, you could get a red leotard, and you can get wings and glue feathers, yes, beautiful red feathers. And of course you'll need tights and oh my gosh maybe a red shaggy haired wig. Then a beak, you'll need a beak...you can go and get ice cream cones and then have her string it to her......" I tune out a bit, but, am marveled at them (yes, plural, more than one). I listen and look on like this

It doesn't faze them, bless their hearts, they are so awesomely passionate about it. When I tell them, "thanks (insert one of the MANY names of people that were jazzed about doing it themselves), but hell no will I be doing it myself". I'm buying that bitch.

After their

look back at me, I quickly realize that we are who we are and that's all there is to it.


The inutility and uselessness does not end there, birthday parties are in this category too. I don't make jack. I buy it all at etsy (where the doers dwell), while my mom friends are baking cakes, taking classes to bake said cake (if they have a challenging theme), making homemade invitations, blah blah blah. While I do covet these folks so very much, I am immediately thinking who can bake, and decorate cake or cupcakes, where I can order invitations from, and if there is enough money in the budget to have a photographer at the party, because I can't be bothered.

So really what I have just realized whilst blogging is that the doers and buyers are really the ying and yang, the cookies and milk, the wind beneath my cardinal wing. Symbiotic relationship, fo shizzle. Well shoot, I'm part of an ecosystem. Cool, I don't feel so useless now.

So, there are the "doers" and the "have somebody else do it' ers" and I am perfectly ok being the latter. We all have a place in this big, wide world. Moral of the story...tally up the prices of the material, gas to get to the store, and the creativity fee, and I'll buy it from you.

Mushy Post

2011-05-10T11:29:00.001-05:00

Mother's Day has come and gone this year. It has always been that this is the day that you show and shower your own mother (or mom-like figure) in your life with adulation and love. It was no different this year. The only thing was that this year, I have begun to feeeeeel differently about what mothering/parenting is all about. I also have this growing respect and reverence to my own mother. It's like, you know you love your mother and always have, but, now its like you share this experience with her. How can I manage to love my mother more after becoming a parent? Weird, right, but, you just can't believe that your mother loves you like you love your children. It's an immeasurable, immense, full body kinda love.

I think each year you grow in your parenting and seem to become more sure footed about certain things. My poor first born, is still our beloved guinea pig though. She gets our first go around with a topic or situation, but, we also feel more confident that we can handle things. Our focus has turned somewhat away from her physical needs and shifted more to her emotional/character/morals/ and relationship needs. The cool thing is that it seems my 3 year old is riding the 5 year old's draft. So what was a huge deal for us when Athena was 3, isnt such a big deal with Saylor at 3. We're more relaxed and therefore, easier to see things that are actually important and those that aren't.

I wanted to thank my daughters for being perfection. I am honored to co-parent them. I am lucky that they chose us and that we get to experience them. I want to thank Athena for making me a mother, and for Saylor who complements and completes our family. And, I want to thank both of them for making me WANT to be a mother.

Finally, I want to thank you mom, for before, now and for whats to come.

Told you. Mushy post.

Sole Mate

2011-04-18T10:45:00.000-05:00

Long story short, second day back at the gym after a long hiatus. I work out, shower, get ready for my day (remember this post?) and leave the gym. I return home to find that in my bag there is only one sneaker. I go back to the gym and *poof* gone, no shoe anywhere and nothing in the lost in found, or in the garbage. I lost one of my damn shoes! Second day back. Ugh. So it goes.

I leave the front desk person my phone number and a description of my shoe ala missing person. "It was blue and silver, new balance, size 8 1/2, with double knotted shoe laces. Last seen in the locker room". The diffident front desk person writes my name and number on the corner of a group exercise class schedule. He is soooooo not going to call me. My sneaker is a goner. The quicker I come to terms with this, the quicker I can move on.

So, after I get back in my car, now I'm pissed b/c I have to go and get a new pair. I dislike unnecessary purchases, dislike them very much. All of a sudden though, instead of being angry, I start to think about the shoe that was left behind. My mind starts to wander and I start to personify this left, left shoe. I mean I won't be using it anymore, it's not like I'm Terry Fox or anything. So, now I am really thinking and empathizing with my poor lone sneaker. I start to ~~day dream~~ drive....

If my sneaker were to write a personal ad, I feel it would be something like this....

Seeking sole mate. Love to take long walks, and short ones too. Love the outdoors and consider myself a morning person. Doesn't matter what race you are, I love them all. Looking for attractive, and athletic build. Ideal mate would love to just run around town with me, and experience life's "hi's" and "lo's". Only those that take pride in themselves and are odor and disease free need apply. Should like Zumba, spinning and boot camps. Must be spontaneous and willing to try new things. Needing someone who has no commitment issues. Only original personalities, no fakes or knockoffs, not too flashy but with a sense of style

Seeking someone that can meet me where the rubber meets the road. So, if you want to take a step in the right direction, contact me. Please include a recent picture.

Kurkure

2011-04-16T17:46:00.001-05:00

It means crack cocaine in Sanskrit. No? It doesn't? Oh. *shrugging shoulders* Welp, it should. I have just found this snack that I am COMPLETELY addicted to (and so is Athena). It is a grown up version of a Cheeto. These crunchy strands are similar to Cheetos, but have an Indian masala twist. They have a slight bite and tangy taste. There is no coincidence here, it is actually part Frito Lay's Indian division.

Now, I am so addicted that Athena and I MAY have had that for breakfast the other day. With a tall glass of milk, of course. Saylor ain't havin' it though. "too spicy. I don't like it. I want oatmeal." The gall of that girl to want breakfast food FOR breakfast.

In some part of my brain, I am justifying this snack as another opportunity to expose the girls' palates to new foods, when in reality......its an Indian Cheeto.

Now, these snacks are SUPER popular in India but are just being introduced to the mass american market in recent times. You know us Americans will need a "It ain't easy bein' cheesy" -Chester Cheetah kind of clevah advert for us to try their foods.

Somehow though, I don't think that

will prompt too much creativity, but we'll see.....

There IS this

and

so we'll just have to wait and see.

In the meantime it just makes me want to do this......

Why I love Tina Fey

2011-04-15T11:24:00.000-05:00

Prayer For Her Daughter

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her
When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short - a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day - And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.

-An excerpt from Tina Fey's new book -Bossypants, 2011

I really f%&*@ it up this time

2011-04-07T12:55:00.003-05:00

Athena is 5. Athena reads.   Reads really well.   She is into chapter books and spelling and just all around interested in reading, words, and their relationship with us.

So, whats shes been doing lately is grabbing the cd booklets and singing along to songs in the car. It's awesome, to hear her little voice just singing the words. This is something that I can't do, because I seem to be missing that gene. The one that sings the correct (any) lyrics, knows song titles, etc. I'm all about how the song feels and how it makes me feel. Unlike people, like my sister, who are totally into wooooords, their meeeeaning and composition, blah blah blah.

Well, my name is Barbie and I am addicted to Mumford and Sons. Listening to it non stop recently. Never ever paid attention to the words (I know, a sacrilege to those of you who 1. listen to lyrics, 2. think of it more like poetry).

Now to tie this all together.

Imagine me and the girls driving with the windows down in our car, with Mumford and Sons blaring and Athena reading/singing along to Little Lion Man. All of sudden I hear "but it was not your fault but mine
and it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, didn't I, my dear? Then I hear Saylor repeat it and all of a sudden, BOTH girls are all singing along loudly "but it was not your fault but mine
and it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, didn't I, my dear? At first I was like whoa, THAT'S what it says, then I was like whoa, THAT'S what it says??? I didn't want to react to it obviously, but I knew the question was......

and then there it was...

Athena- Mama, what does "fucked it up this time" mean.

Saylor- "fucked it up this time?"

Barbie, don't fully acknowledge (just like that you haven't blogged for two months)

Me- It means they really messed up, made a mistake.

Saylor- Oh.

Athena- messed up?

Me- no more calm, cool and collected pep talk   Ok, listen, it's a "boss" word. Only to be used by adults. In fact, lets just listen to another song.

Athena- No, no, I want to hear #7, the "fucked up song".

Me- Athena, that is an adult word. Please don't repeat it.

Athena- Oh, only bosses can say it?

Me- Yes, love.

Athena- So, only bosses drink coffee, martinis, wine and soda, and can say the words "fucked up this time"?

Me- oh my god.   Yes, love.

DOES ANYONE WANT TO HEAR BARNEY?????????? Well, I do!

For the rock dwellers....

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

2011-02-10T08:57:00.002-06:00

Welcome to Thousand Word Thursday, TWT

What are these subjects saying/thinking?

Happy Thursday and Happy Commenting ;)

Necessity is the Momma of all Invention

2011-02-09T07:32:00.004-06:00

As y'all know I have a three year old. I am a huge fan of the 3 day potty training method by Lori Jenson. I had my 5 year old "trained" in 2.5 days when SHE was three, so I know it will work. The only thing is that it is a pretty intense 3 days. You and your partner (or care provider) have to buckle down for a few days for potty boot camp. It is intense, and exhausting, but super worth it.

So, back to my new 3 year old. I had planned on finishing with the diapers that I had just bought at Disneyworld, er, Costco before beginning the "training". About 4 days ago, my husband says "hey, we need diapers, I am going to stop and get some" and I said "Nooooooooo, don't. I'm waiting for these to finish so that I can start with Saylor". He said "oh, great idea, ok".

So, well, life gets fast and there are oversights here and there of course, there are also unanticipated things that come up, right? right.

Cue in last night....................

We are sorta yelling to each other because Michael is downstairs and I'm upstairs, playing Jenga or something.

Michael- Are there any diapers up there?

Me- No, none up here. Why?

Michael- Well, I need one for Saylor.

Me- Oh shoot, I forgot that we were going to start after these diapers were gone. Check the school bag.

Michael- checked, there aren't any in there. I'll just go get some.

Me- *while balancing my tower* No, no! I'm going to train her soon. Just, check the car.

Michael-not in the trunk, babe.

Me- Glove compartment (well, I'm in Texas, so "gun compartment")?

Michael-nope.

Me-oh my gosh. What do we do???????

MacGyver-Don't worry guys. I've got it.......

PLUS

It was all we had. Her sister's panty and one of my sanitary napkins. I adhered it to the underwear and let it flap its wings. Michael was in disbelief. I think he thought I was pre. tty. cool. Saylor was laughing when I put it on her, but she still wore it throughout the night! I love what a cool cat she is. The best part is that it actually worked!

I mean isn't that what a diaper is? A sanitary napkin shaped underwear?

So, here I am sharing this information with the blogosphere. If I can help just one parent, then I've done my job.

Anyhow, needless to say, we did it once more when we changed her this morning, but Michael ended up going to buy a small pack to get us to the weekend.

Tortoise and the Hair

2011-02-02T14:02:00.003-06:00

So, we've basically become experts at doing things efficiently and trying to maximize our outings/events. Almost every place I go to doubles as something else and you get to get more done in less time than it would take you to go to each place individually.

Get gift cards at grocery stores, get gas at the car wash, eat dinner at the movies, cook a meal (in the crock pot) while you leave your house, or renting a movie at the redbox while you wait for your prescriptions. I sometimes sing "trans. formers.....more than meets the eye" in my head.

All we're doing is attempting to save time and multitask, right?. Some say multitasking is actually a misnomer. Your brain hasn’t evolved to deal with consciously processing multiple streams of data, such as listening to someone talk on the phone while you check your email and try also to keep one ear open for tidbits of an interesting conversation nearby. What we call multitasking is actually a process of switching attention rapidly among a number of different activities.

Confirming this finding is an experiment where subjects were asked either to check their email and then write a report — the tasks performed sequentially — or to do both tasks at the same time. The multitaskers took one and a half times as long in total than those people who did one task and then another.

Anyhow, back to my anecdote.

So, my hair is stick straight. Obnoxiously so. When I realized (years ago) that my blow dryer was doing nothing other than blowing hot air onto my hair while I ran my fingers through it I immediately thought of "blow drying" my hair....................................using the heater in the car! I know, you're aghast, but, IT WORKS. I do this so much and am so successful with it, that my daughter's both know that this is what I do. They anticipate it when I get into the car with my damp hair and my 5 year old begs me to open up a window for them to "breathe fresh air".

Well the other morning, I was using the trusty heater to dry my hair and I was at a red light (which is when I really give it volume by drying it upside down and where I get my longest stares) and Saylor was in the back seat.

Conversation went like this.............

Saylor- "momma hair"

Me- "yes, momma's drying her hair"

Saylor-"no, momma, hair, ugh"

Me- "yes, doesn't momma look crazy drying her hair?"

Saylor- "Momma! (I swear her face looked like she wanted to say Yo, Bitch!) Hair in my mouth! Momma's hair, in my mouth! Look! "

I reach back to her and grab this long ass, brown hair that had already wrapped around her tongue, from her mouth. I actually had to stop the car and help her remove the hair from her throat.

I couldn't help but laugh and then she did too.

I'm really not angry

2011-01-27T19:59:00.005-06:00

The kind of shit a parent does and the predicaments that a parent is put in, is really only understood by another parent. I mean even the awesome stuff (to you) is hard to relay. You try to explain to your friends who are single or don't have children about your activities or doings with your family/children and they want to understand you and they want to share in your experiences, but, they just can't. I mean, I couldn't when I didn't have kids.

I actually said to my friends once, "I know you have three kids, but I work and go to school and I make the time to call you". Ummm, no. Dearest old Barbie-without-children, it isn't the same. At all. Your friend was in a whirlwind of activity and could not eke out the time to talk to you (without interruption). What your friend wasn't telling you back then (amongst so many other things) was that she barely shaved anymore, and took showers now, not baths.

I had a friend tell me the other day...."My husband and I have been so crazy busy. We have had like NO TIME to ourselves. We've been to two birthday parties, and a wedding and we even had to go out to have drinks with some old friends that passed through town". I had to literally hold back tears and laughter concurrently. Michael and I DREAM of being that wonderfully busy again. We used to have Saturdays and Sundays and M-o-r-n-i-n-g-S all to ourselves. We did with them what we pleased, and never what we didn't. We'd "complain" about how we were "tired of eating brunch at the same place" and other ridiculous statements like that.

Another friend (sans bundles of joy) said to me "I got out of bed so. early. last saturday, 9:00am, for no good reason either". No, see....9:00am is already mid morning snack at my house. Puzzles have been constructed, train tracks have been made and trains have ridden on them, toast has been buttered, dust busters have been used and a time out or two have already been doled out. In fact, we wake up sooooo early in my house, that we can't even go out drinking or dancing the night before (and enjoy it) because I am perpetually calculating the maximum amount of hours I will sleep that night.

Now, I didn't want to this to be a bitch post because, well, that's tacky. And all of you know how much we enjoy our spectacular girls.

In conclusion (not really, b/c you know I'll talk about this again)....

Today, I had my newly 3 year old daughter brush my hair, with this....

during her 5 year old sister's ice skating lessons. You ask (well not all of you)...but why? that's gross? but I don't get it, she brushed your hair with the stem of her snack? ewwwww.

It kept her quiet for 20 minutes. 20. minutes.

So, don't worry, I'm really not angry, I just wanted to post what I was feeling today.

What are some things that you cannot believe that you do now that you have kids and if you're reading and don't have kids...what will "you never do?"

PS....please, please, please (I promise to not laugh) write me when you find yourself doing JUST that :))))))

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

2011-01-27T08:19:00.007-06:00

I can't believe I haven't posted in a whole week. It is Thursday again and therefore, another TWT post.

Here's an oldie but goodie.

Comment on what you think the subjects are thinking or saying.
You can do both, either or neither (I'm not the boss of you :)

Happy Thursday Y'all!

Thousand Word Thursday

2011-01-20T10:54:00.002-06:00

Click here to view these pictures larger

What are these subjects saying/thinking? Welcome to Thousand Word Thursday, TWT

Happy Thursday and Happy Commenting ;)

First, Pluto's demotion, now this.

2011-01-17T16:00:00.003-06:00

The cheesy pick up line, "what's your sign?" may now have to be, "what's your new sign?" Or better yet....“Hey, baby. What's my sign?”. The zodiac signs have shifted is what Parke Kunkle (of the Minnesota Planetarium Society) is saying. The astronomer told the Minneapolis Star-Tribune that during the last three thousand years the Earth’s axis had shifted almost 10 degrees, which caused the alignment of the stars to move up to about a month and therefore affected the astrological signs that were established five thousands years ago by the Babylonians.

w. t. f.

I mean, it's like your parents dropping the bomb at 36, that you're adopted. It's like, huh? I 've been living my entire life thinking that I was this and now I'm that? Whoa.

But wait there's more....if you call within the next thirty minutes, you'll get a thirteenth zodiac sign for free. Yep, a whole NEW zodiac sign. Ophiuchus. Gesundheit. No, no, this is the new zodiac sign. It is wedged between Scorpio and Sagittarius. What are the traits of Ophiuchus horoscope?

The 13th sign of the zodiac, unlike the other 12 signs is actually associated with a real person. In the 27th Century BCE in Ancient Egypt lived a man known as Imhotep. Imhotep was known as ‘Aesclepius’ by the Ancient Greeks, however the attributes are the same under either name. One of Imhoteps abilities was healing and it is said that it was he who introduced it to mankind. His accomplishments also included a wide knowledge of medicine. The serpent or snake symbol which is still used today to symbolize the medical profession was also used to represent Imhotep. Below is a list of attributes associated with the Serpent Holder, Imhotep i.e Aesclepius. The descriptions below are associated with the 13th sign - Ophiuchus.

Many people are envious of this subject as he progresses well throughout life.
A seeker of wisdom and knowledge
Many people are jealous of this person
Tends to go for the more flamboyant in dress sense, favouring bright colours.
Authority looks upon him well.
Would make a great architect or builder.
Number 12 is this persons lucky number.
This person will have a big family but leave home at an early age.

Can't you just see the keychains, tee shirts, and coffee mugs with this on it? Or new serpent tattoos that people born from NOVEMBER 30 - DECEMBER 17 will be sporting? Of course they'll all be redone from their present Sagittarius, Archer tattoo.

This is the Zodiac as some astrologers believe it should be:

ARIES = APRIL 19 - MAY 13
TAURUS = MAY 14 - JUNE 19
GEMINI = JUNE 20 - JULY 20
CANCER = JULY 21 - AUG 9
LEO = AUGUST 10 - SEPTEMBER 15
VIRGO = SEPTEMBER 16 - OCTOBER 30
LIBRA = OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 22
SCORPIO = NOVEMBER 23 - NOVEMBER 29
OPHIUCHUS = NOVEMBER 30 - DECEMBER 17
SAGITTARIUS = DECEMBER 18 - JANUARY 18
CAPRICORN = JANUARY 19 - FEBRUARY 15
AQUARIUS = FEBRUARY 16 - MARCH 11
PISCES = MARCH 12 - APRIL 18

Whatever. Super confusion is all I say. So all I have to do is recalculate my horoscope, my husband and my family's and Bob's your kunkle.

Not even gonna bore you....

2011-01-11T16:35:00.000-06:00

with excuses as to why I haven't been around. Been thinking aboutcha, though. And I am also not going to talk about why the last couple of posts on the blog have been about my daughter's both using their anatomically correct verbal skills. Coincidence? Nope. One entry jogged the memory of another. simple.

Now, lots has gone on in the past ohhhhhh 2 months. But, again, not gonna bore you with reasons and excuses as to why I haven't been able to get words on el blogo, you people deserve more.

So...*KABLAM POW* the new year comes around and I'm wanting to get back onto blogging. We also now have much faster internet and I am not so frustrated waiting around for a picture or video to load.

So, I will blog again this year. Not because I have to, but, because I want to.

And, I am reinstating TWT (Thousand Word Thursday) because I loved it.

Be back after these messages from our sponsors..........

I want to thank you, Halloween.

2010-10-29T08:15:00.007-05:00

Dear Halloween,

I just want to say that I heart you. I love the way you have treats at my disposal at every turn. A hershey's kiss here, a twix bar there, a handful of caramel popcorn, just 'cuz. Just Cuz!

Everywhere we go and everyone I see has candy or can get to candy, relatively easily. I want to thank you, Halloween. I don't know what it is that we are supposed to be celebrating, exactly, but I don't care. I am just happy that I can be part of this candy-thon. The "rules" are we have to dress up to get these treats, but that's not totally true, people are so willing to give out candy throughout the month of October, that a costume is just an added bonus. Even the supermarket gives out treats. It is really a great time for sugar junkies like myself. So I write you this letter, just to say thank you. Thank you just for being you.

Love,
Saylor 2 year old, and Michael, 37 year old.

Wordless Ode to Bumbo

2010-10-19T16:41:00.005-05:00

Athena-ism #492

2010-10-09T15:57:00.003-05:00

Conversation in the car

Me- I was thinking that we should have cupcakes for your birthday.

Her- I don't want cupcakes, I want a cake.

Me- Well, I was thinking cupcakes so that you could pass them around to your friends (plus it would be a hella easier to cut, clean, serve. And they would be infinitely cheaper than a cake) .

Her- But, I want a cake.

Me-Ok, yeah, ok, sounds good (I start thinking about picking one up at costco the day before party).

Silence in the car (don't see much of this action. ever)

Her- I want it to be black. With two astronauts holding hands. one is me and one is saylor.

more silence in the car

Her- and I want Jupiter on it. Yes, JUPITERrrrrrrr.

Long pause and more silence.

Me- (in tears thinking how HARD this would be) cupcakes are so much fun, they're like mini cakes, so each person can have one of their very own.

Her- No, I want a cake. Please.

So it'll look like this....but with a black background....two astronauts.....holding hands....Athena instead of Xander....and Jupiter.....the fifth planet from the sun and the solar system's largest.

Easy as cake. :(

Saylor had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb

2010-08-09T14:28:00.004-05:00

Saylor had a little lamb whose vagina was full of cheetos.

So we've all read "tentacle bag", right? Well, apparently my 2 year old found out and decided she'd have a blog worthy ditty of her own.

I'm in my kitchen minding my own business or at least desperately trying to, and I look over to see a sullen Saylor. This rarely happens, so I decide to ask her...

me- What's wrong baby?

Say- mumbled sheep's vagina dirrrrty.

me- What, bub?

Say- sheep's vagina dirty

me- sheep's what?

she gets up from table and proceeds to shove Sheep's crotch in my face

Say- Cheetos on Sheep's vagina! A mess!

me- Oh. um. ok. let's wash it then.

she gets this huge smile and prances over to the tub and turns on the water

me- no, no, not a bath. I have to wash it in the washing machine. come on, over here.

we go over to washing machine. I toss sheep in.

Say- sheep's clean now!

Me- um, no, baby, not yet

another 8 seconds pass

Say- sheep's clean

Me- no, not yet

rinse. repeat. about 47 times.

Finally! The washing machine is done and now it's time to put her in the dryer. I transfer her from the washer to the dryer and Saylor catches a glimpse of her sheep. This was nearly catastrophic, I tried explaining to her about wet/dry/time/procedures. Nope. She wasn't getting it. Whine, whine, whine. Big fat tears rolling down her face, pout, just sadness all around.

Needless to say I took out the damn, damp sheep after about ten minutes. She grabbed her and hugged and said "sheep's vagina so clean".

Yes, baby, nothing like a clean vagina on a sheep.

I hope that big brother doesn't scan this last sentence and send who ever they send out for that sort of thing.

Bag o' laughs

2010-07-19T15:53:00.003-05:00

A conversation between Athena (4) and Michael (37) after Michael gets out of bath.

Athena-daddy, whats that?

Michael-my penis.

Athena-no, no, behind your penis?

Michael-my scrotum.

Athena-what is inside your scrotum?

Michael-my testicles?

Athena-what are tentacles?

Michael-No, testicles.

Athena- (grimacing) Does it hurt?

Michael-No, it doesn't hurt.

Athena-daddy!!! why do you have hair on your tentacle bag?

I just laughed and walked out and let him handle the rest.

Waving White Flag

2010-07-04T16:10:00.005-05:00

I wasn't going to write a july 4th post, then I was, but then decided not to. And I can do that kind of wavering cuz it's my blog :)

I did however want to show you the non-beach beach that we are now going to since we have nothing else. Remember this post? Same suits...nice life.

So....we surrender.

I have to tell you, it is growing on me. I don't know if it's because the girls don't care that it's brown/grey, or because it is a big open space that the girls are entertained for hours on end. No land lubber can argue with that.

Do they look like they care, even a teensy weensy bit?

Luxurious Summer Activities for the two I heart...

2010-06-21T15:43:00.010-05:00

At the country club for a dip in the pool with friends

A Hands On- Art Appreciation class with friends (dollar store supplies and juice included)

Box seats for their favorite show

A leisurely read whilst in bed after their spa treatment (including tearless shampoo and manicure/pedicure with my nail clipper)

The Ooohs and Aaahh of a Summer Blockbuster

A toddler Cotillion....

The summer has just begun, but we have been able to give our daughters so much already. We don't want to go overboard or anything, but we will be attending the community pool later and stopping off at the SnoBall King. Nothing is too good for my girls :)

Bad Assery at it's Finest

2010-06-18T13:14:00.003-05:00

Horton Hears a Who?

2010-06-07T13:16:00.004-05:00

Just came back from the movie theater with my 4 yr old. We went to see Horton Hears a Who (HHaW). It was a lot of fun and great animation. Steve Carrell and Jim Carrey were great. Now, please tell me that I am not the only one that thought of what I am about to tell you. As when I read the book, I could not help but think of Barack Obama, his presidency, his ideas, and those of "others". Don't worry about it, I will not go on to speak about my political views or anything. For god's sake the blog's name is I heart 2 girls, not I heart to talk politics. Alls I'm saying is that I could not get the metaphor or the comparison out of my head. The entire movie.

With Dr. Seuss's deceptive simplicity, we hear about the persistence of doing the right thing no matter how hard and arduous the journey, even our faith (believing in something unseen). Also, all about our voices carrying and making a difference. I mean, "a person's a person no matter how small", right? and "I meant what I said, and I said what I meant".

Carol Burnett's character of the Sour Kangaroo's attitude of "If you can't see, hear or feel something it doesn't exist. And believing in "tiny imaginary people" is just not something we do or tolerate here in the Jungle of Nool."

Anyhow, just thiking about the movie on my drive home and wanted to share.

So, let's HOPE- "And so, all ended well for both Horton and Who's, and for all in the jungle, even kangaroos. So let that be a lesson to one and to all; a person is a person, no matter how small."

What do you think? Have you seen it? Am I trippin'?

Things I love about Houston, Texas

2010-06-02T20:26:00.006-05:00

I will not talk about the heat, traffic, or crime. I will not talk about the heat, traffic, or crime.

Off the top of my head........

1. I am able to buy freshly made tortillas at the supermarket's bakery. There is literally a lady making tortillas there. Incredible.

2. The rodeo is a really. big. deal. It's in Feb and the WHOLE city gets revved up. I love it. There are even trail riders. Riders start off like 300-400 miles away and they actually ride through Houston.....for the rodeo.

3. The skyline. I just love it. *swoon*

4. The diversity in food. Really phenomenal. I could and should weigh 400 lbs. The food in this city is sublime. Whatever you fancy, it's here.

5. The Space Center, too cool.

6. Miller Outdoor Theater offers the most diverse season of professional entertainment of any Houston performance venue, and it's all FREE! Classical music, jazz, ethnic music and dance, ballet, Shakespeare, musical theater, classic films.

7. Discovery Green-an urban park in downtown. All events at the park are free and open to the public, unless otherwise noted. Discovery Green presents Houston's diverse world-class performing, literary and visual art in its Art Series. Discovery Green's Entertainment Series offers movies, Extreme Wii competitions, and concerts by talented musicians that showcase a rich variety of Gulf Coast and Central Texas sounds. For the health and fitness-minded, the Healthy Living in the Park series offers a weekly urban market and exercise classes such as Pilates, Yoga, and Zumba as well as a Hip2BFit exercise class just for kids. The Families & Children Series offers hands-on workshops and activities suitable for children and their parents. On weekends, families can visit the park, put their pets in one of two dog runs and watch their kids play on the playground while they discard their newspapers and cans into recycling bins.

8. The Galleria

9. Dive bars, all over town. Fabulous.

10. Bellaire China town, the food (dim sum, malaysian, korean, vietnamese)

11. Good salaries and cheap living.

12. People use "y'all" even in a professional setting.

13. I could seriously go on and on.

Do you know Houston? Woudl you agree, disagree, add, substract? or would you like to brag about your own city?????????

Bloggy Break, explained

2010-05-31T21:11:00.005-05:00

Yes, it's been a month. No, it's not ok. I think about my little blog all of the time and things I want to say, things I don't and things I wish I could :) I have ideas I want to share, stories I want to tell and retell, and curse words I want to use with the caps lock on. But, I do none of the above. I also up the ante and bitch about it.

What I have decided to do is to blog old school. The way I used to when I started. About everything. And Nothing. No holds barred. Anything that popped into the ol' noggin (I wrote pooped first and contemplated not fixing the typo). Like when I started back in May of 2008 with my inaugural post, when I became a brunette, this post, and this one and 150 others (I'll spare ya) :)

So, starting asap :) I will just rant and rave about all that is important, ridiculous, mundane, exciting, hilarious, sexy, and fun, TO ME. I know that I just need some free time and a computer to make it happen. I vow to make that much more often. I actually use this as my only creative outlet these days, so it behooves me to do this. If not, I cook or garden....neither of which I do well.

See ya on the flip side.

Made in the Shade

2010-04-27T07:55:00.003-05:00

For all of my bloggy readers that have green bloggy thumbs, please turn around and come back next post. Seriously, it'll be painful to read, so, just heed my warning.

I, am not, of the gardening persuasion. I can admire your garden, comment on your flowers, and gaze up at your trees for all eternity, but do not ask me what they are, how they got there and how to treat them. It's like I'm that guy at the bar with all of these women around, not having the slightest clue how to act or talk to them. It's like I don't have a pick up line, and get all flustered just thinking about a conversation with them.

I don't want to be a cliche, but I truly DO NOT UNDERSTAND how to keep plants alive. Sadly, I think I have even unintentionally killed dandelions, which by the way, until recently, did not know they were weeds and that people hated them.

One quick example I have for you is this beautiful tree I got as a housewarming gift. In a beautiful pot. I was determined to take care of this girl b/c to me it symbolized our new home, our future...yes, I understand I should never had committed to this and should never have put this kind of pressure on myself, but I digress. I googled this plant, named this plant, read up on how to take care of this plant....almost joined a plant "yahoo group" just to talk about "plants". I was ready, I was set, I went. I was so excited. The plant slowly began to wither, brown, basically fall apart. It was in hospice and there was no turning back. As I left her dead, brown body in the pot for waaaaaaaaay longer than I should have, I decided to dispose of the body. As I pulled her out of the pot....I saw this black thing on the bottom. I didn't know what it was until I turned the knobby thing and realized that it was the plug. I had killed her. Drowned her. Why didn't anyone say to open that thing. Was I just supposed to know? Was it that obvious???

My most recent homicide or horticide was just atrocious. I had a coupon (don't all good stories start like this??) and it was for a free 15 gallon shade tree with a purchase of $25. I was so stoked. Athena had begun to show an interest in gardening because of her school (which is a montessori magnet focusing on environmental science), so we went together to choose our purchase and our tree. It was so much fun and I was getting really excited at that nursery. I was thinking to myself....."self: you can do this...look at all of these people, people actually enjoy this. You can do it, I know you can".

I picked a magnolia (because it is he only one I recognized the name of...they are all over texas) b/c I figured they had to be easy. So, I discuss with the cashier about the care of this plant and how to take it out of the planter and how deep to dig the hole, how far away from my fence to do this, and about how often to water it, etc.

I can do this.

I take home this mammoth plant in the trunk of my car. The leaves flapped wildly while I drove on the highway....I kept telling it to believe she was in a hurricane and that it will all be over in about 13 miles. I get home, I have no shovel. I (well Michael) carried this tree to the backyard. I would now have to hire someone to dig a hole for me and to "fix" her up. No biggie, I am big into paying for services that I can't do myself. Ain't no shame in that game. We all excel at certain things. Cooking, gardening, car washing, babysitting, and cleaning aren't one of mine. Whoops, I've said too much.

The tree is beautiful. It looks like it is really going to be part of the family. We water it everyday. We have found caterpillars, roly polies, and beetles in it. It has been so much fun to watch the girls love on their new sister. Surprisingly, she starts to have leaves turn yellow....bewildered, I continue to water it and pull the dead leaves off. She is just adjusting to her new home, I say. I'm not worried. I do however, make a bee line to the phone, and call the landscaper guy.

me- Can you come out to check on my tree?

him- sure. what kind?

me- oh (feeling chuffed that I knew the name) it's a magnolia tree

him- oh those are great shade trees

me- yes, I bought it for that reason.

him- ok, well, I can come over and take a look at it and plant it for you. I am going to fit you in tomorrow, so it'll have to be quick. Make sure you've decided on a shady place for me to plant it at.

me- no, there is not a shady place in my backyard. It is super sunny. That is why I got the magnolia.

him- well, ma'am, the magnolia is a shade tree.

me- I know.

him- It needs to be in the shade.

pause.

longer pause.

him- hello? ma'am?

me (holding back tears)- Can you come and pick my tree up for a donation?

She wants to lead.... the Glamorous Life......

2010-04-18T14:40:00.007-05:00

There are spurts of instances when I catch a glimpse of my old self. These are the times when I am dressed in a sexy get up, or have on some fancy shoes (you know the ones that clack... a term coined by 4 year old's best friend), or am having a political, cultural, or adult conversations with others, or when people say "I didn't know you were a mom". I love that. Only because it means I must look clean and composed, is all :)

These events seldom happen, but I find them to be interwoven in my daily life much more frequently now than when I first had my 4 year old (when spit up, crap, nursing bras, drool, food, etc was the fashion I was donning. I couldn't help it. As cool and glamorous as I was in my pre-baby world, I just didn't make the transition all that well.

So, as I had just started to get gussied up again, we decide to have another baby. We figure we should do this so that we don't get too accustomed to the make up, dresses, traveling, parties, and date nights we had started up again. Back in the state of perpetual casual/lounge wear I go. We have our beloved 2nd and I seem to know more, and realize that I don't have to run for the Mayor of Frumpsville for another term. I sit it out and really try my darndest to get my sassy back, quicker.

Then, on a night like yesternight, I realize that the "ebb and flow" of our re-entry into one of the "pages" of our old life, is less subtle than that and can be much more like the shock of the cooler they toss on the coach's head after a winning game. Let me tell you about it.

Cue in uber cool restaurant with a sleek, minimalist and stylish decor, fantastic menu, libations, etc. This bar/restaurant is frequented by Houston's hippest and has a very cool scene. It was given the title of "best bar" by playboy magazine....need i go on? Y'all got it, right? We enjoy it to the utmost. Convos, drinks and food were excellent.

Fast forward to the very end of the night. Standing at the valet station (with a gazillion hot looking houstonites), I am feeling so happy and sexy and fun and soooo not a "mom". One of my cool and hip momma friends remembers that she has to give me something so that I can use it with Saylor (my 2 year old), so she goes into her trunk and pulls out a big ol' wooden potty chair (this one to be exact)

and hands it to me. In front of everyone.

Can you feel the ice cold water on your head? Yeah, me too. I couldn't help but literally laugh out loud as I grabbed it from her, thanked her and waited for my car to be pulled up to the valet area.

I would not change that experience for the world though. Seriously.

As sheila e. said.......

without love....it ain't much...it ain't much

Tell 'er

2010-04-06T18:14:00.004-05:00

At the bank the other day, I know can you believe I decided to actually go to one? Hadn't been to one in years...but I needed to go to the teller b/c I had lost my check/atm card and needed money.

Anyhow, Athena is asking ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY questions (those who have met her know that I am understating that number) about the transaction, who she is, what she is doing, what am I doing, what's the suburban next to us doing, etc. We begin to drive off (as Athena yells from her window..."Thank you, tube lady"!! and this conversation ensues...

ABA- is she staying there?

me-yes, she works there.

ABA-works there?

me-yeah, like daddy works.

ABA-daddy works in downtown, not here.

me-true, but, well, everyone works and has some sort of job.

ABA- is that her job? I'm the trash helper in class this week.

me- well, she works at the bank. She helps people like me get to their money. She sends it in the tube.

ABA- oh. i want to work.

me- you do? where do you want to work?

ABA- ummmm. Subway.

me- Subway?

ABA- yes.

me- why do you want to work at subway?

ABA- so I can help people make choices.

me- choices? like what?

ABA- white or wheat? and what kind of cheese they want.

Shall I go and deposit the college fund back at the bank, I ask myself.

Talk to the Unicorns and Goldfish cuz the baby ain't listenin'

2010-04-04T15:37:00.002-05:00

Are all mommy hobbies created equal?

2010-03-29T12:45:00.005-05:00

I met a fellow mom the other day. We were discussing, this, that and the other. I was nodding my head and we were agreeing with each other. "The challenges...", "the sacrifices....", "finding time for me...". Y'know, stuff us moms chit chat about.

*her phone rings*

"Oh it's my dance teacher", and I say, "wow, how cool, a dance teacher. What are you taking?" She says Latin Dance from this incredible Russian instructor. She says "They are the best at it. His wife and him are fantastic". I continue to ask about the dance teacher. I like to hear about fun, active things out there. I ask how often she takes classes from him and she says twice a week. So, I ask for his number b/c I would love to be able to do this too. It sounded like loads of fun.

She says, "214-555-1212". "A dallas transplant, huh?" I say. "oh...he's in Dallas". Puzzled, I say "Dallas? Like, almost-4 hrs-away-Dallas, Dallas? "Yes, she answers, I just love it. It is such a break". Me clarifying "So, you drive 4 hrs each way, twice a week, to meet with your Russian dance teacher for lessons?" No, she says, I fly there, it only takes 30 minutes. I chuckled and said "wow, that's great". Me clarifying "soooo, you get on a plane, go to take your lesson and then get back on the plane and come home?"

of course not, I stay the night at a Ritz Carlton.

then I just straight up laughed and said "that is just plain awesome".

Next time I feel like I am unwinding and escaping at the Color Me Mine pottery studio, I'll make sure to remind myself of this ditty.

lol.

Friend of mine, swear2god.

2010-03-21T14:29:00.004-05:00

www.TiffanyLFox.com

What are your thoughts???

Ideas?

Anybody in mind for her?

Would you do this?

Good Luck Tiffany!!!!!!!

Trippin' with my homeboy

2010-03-18T16:19:00.005-05:00

We have a Cross in my house, and it isn't like up on the wall, but in this "hole" in the wall (wow...can you tell that architecture is my gig). We also have stairs in my house. Two small sets of stairs. Up, then a little landing, up again, voila...living room. We are always saying to the girls..."be careful, don't dance/play/jump/hop/skip/roll/push/pull/ on the stairs. They have never fallen or even tripped on them. I don't want to jinx myself, but 'tis true.

Yesterday, I was happily coming down the stairs, with my drink in hand (first one I might add) and I was just walking down. I (apparently) took a misstep, contorted my body (drink in hand), held on to Jesus Christ, (didn't want the cross, all of 18 inches tall and made of solid rose wood) to come crashing down. I had the cross and drink in my hands and ATE. IT. Martini, JC, and I. On the floor. I hear Saylor from upstairs.."mama loud, mama fall". Then as I was trying to get up, I let the now empty glass, slip out of my hands (6 inches) and cracked into many pieces.

It all ended with me having to use a rag to clean up apple-tini from the cross and massaging my hurting hamstring.

It all just seemed so wrong.

Michael Babysitting

2010-03-13T13:55:00.004-06:00

Today's Top Ten

2010-03-12T12:39:00.005-06:00

I totally just made this up, but I felt like it. These are a few of my all time favorite things. I added a challenge to myself, it all has to start with the same letter. They are in no particular order. Oh yeah and some will be tmi (too much information), of course.

B for Barbie (which just turned 51 the other day)

1. Burlesque Dancing
2. Bollywood
3. Bubble baths with babes
4. Bars
5. Babysitters
6. Burmese food
7. Brazilian Wax (I have no link to this....:)
8. Beatboxing
9. Bargains
10. Blogging

26 months

2010-03-05T15:03:00.008-06:00

This is how old Saylor is today. This is also how old Athena was when Saylor was born. Get the picture?

I'm reminiscing, big time.

and now, you'll be dragged along too :)

Here is athena foreshadowing Saylor before she even knew that Saylor was a Saylor.

Will I be able to eat her...like this?

Wow, this is really gonna happen. Smile daddy, our life is about to change.

I'm gonna have to share all of this, aren't I?

What up???

Awww, she isn't so bad...kinda cute if ya ask me.

Oh boy. Can she see me?

Oh, she sees you alright.....

I'm gonna hug'er and squeeze'er and call her George

Bffs 4ever

Flying Solo

2010-02-22T16:15:00.003-06:00

I recently had the opportunity to go on a three day training in Atlanta. I don't live in Atlanta, so it was going to be a "fly over there and stay in a hotel kind" of trip. At first I got a bit worked up because of the logistics of leaving the two girls that I heart and the man that I love, with them. Not that he is incapable, quite the contrary, he is exceptionally capable. If he were in a performance appraisal, he would get (if it were a likert scale) all "VERY" and "EXCELLENT" and "EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS", etc.

Buuut, I am the one that "runs" the house and it's little nuances, so I had to make sure that he was left as prepared as possible. I went to Costco, the supermarket, made a couple of dinners, did the laundry, left the girls the clothes they would wear (including panties and socks) in their rooms, and made sure there were movies on our Netflix queue.

Left early that Wednesday morning to the airport. Thinking about Athena Blaze, her obsession with writing and spelling, and how her "show and tell" was on friday, and about Saylor and her sweet unicorn and how she was making the unicorn kiss everything and do everything she did. I thought about these two happy little girls. I also thought about how I was also going to miss my handsome, delicious husband. I would miss them terribly but I knew they would be beyond ok, and I was going to get some brain fodder at the training.

Ummm, can I tell you that it took me all of 8 min to forget all about the suckers?

I got on my cell phone on the ride to the airport and talked to a few friends and listened....without interruption to these friends that I hadn't been able to speak with for a long time. I listened to music in the car, very loudly. I had also left with plenty of time, so I wasn't rushing, or in traffic or anything. I was relaxed and on vacation even though I hadn't even gotten to the airport yet.

Got to the airport and bought a coffee, then decided to do something I hadn't done IN YEARS. I bought a book to READ on the plane. This concept was a legend, a mythical creature, something so forgotten and unfamiliar to me, I didn't even know how to go about it. Well folks...it's like riding a bicycle. Ya never forget. I got myself a girly, chick lit, pretty color covered book, a bottled water, some fresh fruit, chocolate, and nuts. Yes, I spent $25 at the airport.

But wait...there's more....

I had a purse. A real. live. purse. It's contents were not suitable for Monty Hall's Let's Make a Deal like it usually is. It was a regular, boring, purse. I carried only this purse. And as I looked at my snacks, that did not resemble goldfish, fruit bars, or a juice box, I smiled from ear to ear.

I sat in the emergency row, b/c I did not have a baby in tow and could help the plane out in a pinch. I did however have to think of the baby once again when I looked over at the plane door and saw that it weighed 31 lbs. I thought, "my saylor weighs about that much, so I'll be fine". The flight attendent mentioned something about delays and detouring teh plane due to weather. I shrugged my shoulders and thought, "meh, who cares....at least I don't have to think about entertaining two girls while all of this is happening".

The trip just continued to go on like this. I ate when I wanted to. I showered when and how I wanted to. I could focus on one thing at a time. Conversations.....were complete. There was a true dialogue. It felt...so....easy. I remember thinking to myself that I couldn't believe how I used to live like this. All for me. It was really great. I truly savored those three days as my last meal on the Green Mile.

But as my trip.....plane ride back (in an exit row I might add).....and drive home came to an end, I realized that I was thrilled to be back home, ecstatic to see/smell/hear/touch my girls again, couldn't wait to be caught up to speed on the "doings" and

and that I would sign up for trainings every 6 months :)

Where there's a will, there's a way

2010-02-14T14:37:00.003-06:00

Yep, we've arrived. We're adults. Full blown adulthood. We have gone and done the ickiest, most mature and responsible thing ever. We've gone and drawn up a ((((w.i.l.l.)))

shudder.

It was the weirdest thing because we went to the lawyers and she had asked for all of our information ahead of time, so we just had to go and sign it. So we thought. We were escorted back to this conference room that had a huge table (like, think, Last Supper or knights of the round table (except it was rectangular), or maybe like Donald Trump style. We were then each given a stack of papers to "look over" and sign here, here, annnnd here. I didn't think it would be such a big ol' deal. We weren't thinking we would be listening so emotionally, but we couldn't help it.

Imagine, sitting in this mammoth table, sitting facing your husband and hearing her read this...

"...a living will and a durable power of attorney for health care..."

"...executor is the person named in a will or appointed by a court to wind up the person's financial affairs after death....

"..to make any necessary health care decisions for you and to see that doctors and other health care providers give you the type of care you wish to receive..."

having fun yet???

"..if you become incapacitated..."

"...vegetative state...."

"...life support..."

"...you are unable to communicate your own wishes for care, either orally, in writing, or through gestures...."

"....If you want to donate your body, it's best to contact your chosen medical institution and make arrangements in advance..."

"if you should both die, who will be your children's guardians?"

Oh my gosh. It was a lot. even though my husband and I went in really prepared, there is nothing like hearing all of this coming from someone who does this for a living and was just reading the documents like she wasn't talking about me, my husband, or my girls.

Well, how's that for an uplifting blog entry???? Very happy happy joy joy huh?

In all honesty, we left there feeling really really good. We felt like, the girls, our money and our wishes were well protected.

Do y'all have wills? or think about it?????

Nuttin' Honey

2010-01-23T13:44:00.003-06:00

I knew that this would happen. I just didn't think this early on. I have been wanting to blog regularly now, but life hasn't allowed me my guilty pleasure. Argh.

Look at the list I had in my head......

I want to resurrect TWT (thousand word thursdays) cause that was just plain ol' fun, I want to give y'all updates on so many things including mommy dates (apparently I am a whore.....who knew?), more on the road recipes like this one, what ever happened to this job, update on the ol' post baby bod , new foods and fruits that I've tried, how these conversations have gotten a LITTLE better, many many more athena-isms and this one, and one of my favorites...this one.

I also have awards waiting in the wings from some of the coolest bloggy brethren.

Anyhow, I just wanted to touch base and let you know that I intend on coming back here very very soon!!!!!!!!

Muffin Tops

2010-01-13T15:47:00.005-06:00

This is not a pun(or bun as it will) or a catchy little post title so that I can talk about this

no, no. I am actually talking about Muffin. Tops. The tops of muffins. These glorious little chubby discs (stop laughing) of love that I found at the bakery this morning.

Who thought of this? What person can I thank for this???? Do you know that I end up eating the bottom half of the muffin, just cuz? Just cuz?

"Just Cuz" calories are the worst. You don't really enjoy them and your feel somewhat obliged to eat them. Ugh.

Not now folks, I have found the answers to my superfluous calories (in the muffin category). Muffin tops.

Even Eggo got wind of the discovery

Now we need "Cookie Middles", "Cake Corners", "Pizza Slice Tips", "Brownie Ends", and "French Onion Soup Tops"...whoops, I guess that would be "melted cheese".

What are your favorite foods that have superfluous calorie chasers?

She's a brainiac, brainiac on. the. floor.

2010-01-10T12:12:00.004-06:00

and she's spelling like always spelled before..

I have a junkie on my hands. A spellaholic as it will. Everything needs to be spelled for my 4 year old. She is obsessed with trying to spell, spelling outloud, spelling on paper, spelling while on the move, in the car, walking. Asking the people in line ahead of us, asking waitresses, the cashiers.

She wants to spell words on the computer, on my phone, uses puzzle pieces to spell words, spaghetti, blueberries. It like the tootsie roll commercial where all they see are tootsie rolls. Well, Athena only sees letters and their ability to be combined and make sounds and stuff.

I know I am no help, though. I have always shown them what they would be eating for lunch/dinner and I have taken a blank sheet of paper and written "rice", "carrot", "fish" or "domino's", (oops, did I just let out a bams dirty little secret?).

Numbers are her gig too. She can count up to 200+ and then she can count in tens and only tell me the numbers that end in zero. This folks is her dad. He's what we like to call "an egghead", the sexiest and most adorable egghead around, but an egghead nonetheless.

Really though, she an an innate love of learning and we can only be proud. It is exciting to see her excited about it. Soooooo in conclusion....

My blog, my brag, right? :) It's the way of my people.

Oreo Kidding?

2010-01-06T13:12:00.004-06:00

Actual conversation with my new 4 year old (if you know her, you'll be nodding throughout)

aba- Momma, I want a snack.

me- what do you want?

aba-a cookie, the circle ones that have the letters o-r-e-o on it.

me-o.k.

aba- no, o-r-e-o

me- yes, yes, babe, I was kidding, yes, oreoes.

*I hand her a couple of oreoes and leave the bag out*

aba-momma? I need milk to eat my cookies.

me- you want juice instead? We ran out of milk this morning.

aba- No (looking at me confused). Look at the directions. See?

me- directions?

aba- the big cookie is making a big splash with milk. I need some milk.

me- babe, you'll have to make the cookie make a big splash with juice because we have no milk.

aba- oh. but juice is not in the directions.

me- I have graham crackers.....you want graham crackers?

aba- yes (as she hands me the untouched oreoes)

me- here you go (handing her the graham crackers)

aba- can you get me the box? with the directions.

What Christmas?

2010-01-02T12:08:00.004-06:00

I have just taken any/everything related to/resembling/associated with/thinking about Christmas down. It was awesome. Cathartic.

Now, I don't think my 4 year old thought it was so grand. I had woken up and had my gonna-get- my- house- in- order look and said to her "can you help me put the ornaments back in the box" she cocked her head to the side and said "why?" and I said "because christmas is over". She began to tear up and talk about Santa, and cookies and snow and gifts and wanting to keep the tree up and "what about the star?? can we keep the star?". I actually felt terrible after listening to her. But, being the a-hole that I am, I was like "sorry, Christmas is over. This will all be back next year. If you're good" lol. <------in my head. Michael took the dead tree to get recycled. Hauled the thing throughout the house leaving a trail of pine needles. fun. Next year, I am going to go ultra "green" and rent a real christmas tree. Serioulsy, it's all the rage in Canada. Look here

Anyhow, back to my beautifully, uncluttered house. I sound so "ba humbug" but, I am no Scrooge, by any means. A whole month of "stuff" is too long, though. I am happy to have my Living room back. God, I am Scroogey.

Oh and all of the foods that I ate this holiday. Ridiculous. Everything was chocolate, creamy, mint/spice/ginger flavored, baked, decorated, in little bags, in trays, in the console of my car (oops, did I say that outloud). Glad to be done with all of that indulgent eating too.

Now, back to the gym, back to portion contro-hol (in Prince's singing voice), vegetables, etc. All of this work to be able to start the cycle all over again next Oct 31st, which is when my hibernation begins. It is lovely, but all good things come to an end.

Ok, I see pine needles that need to get cleaned up. I guess I will put "Polar Express" in the dvd player for my 4 year old that I can still hear muttering to herself.

Low Down

2009-12-31T13:25:00.005-06:00

Right, so we've been busy. As you have been. It's the holidays, anything less would be weird. On top of being busy, we have had *snooze* dial-up *snooze*. You might as well have attached a blog post to a carrier pigeon and sent it on it's way.

Sigh of relief.....we now have a wireless "hot spot" in the house and my life is so much "faster". The problem with all of this is that we have had really important things happen since I last posted.

In an attempt to get caught up...I will just do a little, late 2009 "round up" so to speak...

this beautiful daughter just turned 4

this beautiful daughter will soon be 2

this house was bought

two weeks later, we had a housewarming party, here

spent and celebrated Thanksgiving in North Carolina with our Cuban family(insert wonderful pictures of family, home cooked food, conversations, laughing and warmth with parents, sister, cousins, aunt and uncle and my abuela!!!!!)

spent and celebrated our Christmas in Panama City Beach, Flahrida with our Canadian family(insert windy and cold beachy pictures of family, food, conversations, laughing and warmth with nan-nan, grandad, uncles, aunts and sweet sweet cousins!!!)

we drove to said destination (11 hrs) with both girls. saylor riding rear facing too. having fun yet? Athena- "Momma, why (insert everything here), what (insert everything here), where(insert everything here), when (insert everything here)" and say the entire thing over 500 times. Then you would get a feel for the drive over. Rinse and repeat for the trip back.

we drove back from said destination (11 hrs) with both girls. saylor riding rear facing too. still having fun? Michael has the audacity to ask me, whilst IN THE CAR, if we should take a road trip to Orlando to go to Disneyworld in early 2010. Are you having an embolism, babe? That is like asking a woman IN LABOR when she is going to have her next kid.

I probably think about blogging once a day but just could not get my shite together. I look forward to being able to post again and much more frequently.

Soooo, Happy New Year and remember to stick to your new year's resolution

......mine will be blogging, part deux.

Sweet 16

2009-11-09T12:56:00.004-06:00

I have been so silly busy these days. I know I sort of alluded to it in the previous post, but really, been busy.

How busy have you been??????

Sooooo busy that I am dove tailing erin's blog post about the two girls I heart. How do you like that for la. zee.?

Not just any ol' person's blog.....but the coolest, etsy shop owner in all the land. She is actually cooler than all of the cool stuff in her etsy store....and blog....and tweeter...

she does live in Pittsburg though.......

oh well, it doesn't matter..... ;)

Go and check out her blog, her post and more importantly her art!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG

2009-10-30T21:42:00.004-05:00

I am alive. All is well. Thanks for the search party everyone, but I am just BUSY. I miss y'all though. I miss being the blogger and bloggee. There are plenty of awesome blogs that I have not read in a long time.

In a nutshell....

Found a house
Bought a house
Got a part time job
Left other part time job
Got sick
Got better
Enrolled Athena in Tap
Enrolled Saylor in music class
Lost my mojo
Will find it soon, *crossing fingers*
Needing halloween costumes for girls
Using last year's costumes for girls
Buying furniture for new home
Decorating new home
Watching Dexter on Netflix
Spending money on etsy
life
life
life

So, I just wanted to check in and say that I will be back soon. I have had many thoughts and want to share but it will have to wait :(

Oh and best news of all (being utterly sarcastic) is that our new house does not have dsl, or cable, or FIOS. It only has...are you ready.......

Omunky see Omunky do

2009-09-29T07:34:00.004-05:00

As all of you know, this blog is about hearting two girls, hearting motherhood, hearting randomness(gosh, I really love this stuff) and hearting new, fun, and familial businesses.

My blog, my fodder, right? Soooooo, I wanted to let you all on a little secret. There is a new start up business in town(well, NY to be exact)named OMUNKY and it is an online apparel store that embraces the new environmentally friendly world with awesome looking clothes made from Eco-friendly material such as recycled-cotton! All of us know how great organic/recycled cotton feels on our skin. OMUNKY chooses to provide the world Eco-friendly gear not because it is popular, but because it is the right thing to do.

The designs (and earthy colors) are the cutest (and very unique), with a nose picking (or Rodin inspired) monkey as it's logo, and a side kick Hippo. Let's not forget my favorite, the hitchhiking gorilla....don't we all feel like this sometimes? There are also a couple of belts that are pretty hip. All in all, OMUNKY has the comfort, cost, custom designs and consciousness that we are all wanting.

So, as any good blog entry where I mention a new biz, there is a *perk* for the readers of said blog.

IF YOU ENTER THE CODE WORD "TWOGIRLS" AT CHECKOUT YOU WILL RECEIVE A 15% OFF discount!!!! This deal is a limited time only and will expire on Thursday the 15th of October.

Is OMUNKY On Facebook? Yep. www.facebook.com and search OMUNKY or click directly from his website

Is OMUNKY Twitter friendly you ask? yep.... www.twittwer.com/omunky

Got his own blog??? yep..... www.omunky.blogspot.com

Have fun and let me know what you think :)

'Sis different now

2009-09-12T09:59:00.004-05:00

Today started like any other day. Athena yelling from her room saying "I gotta go pottyyyyyyyy" and Saylor hearing her sister's voice from her own room and then saying "doown....dowwn". Athena had asked me to let her go into saylor's room to get her up. As I was rubbing my eyes and peeing on the toilet, I mutter "fine". She opens the door and saylor is smiling and then laughing while athena grabs toys for her that have fallen out of her crib for her. Saylor is then picked up by me and put on the floor.

The girls "hugged" and went running out of the room. And yes, it is barely 7am at this point (for those of you keeping track).

*********this is where is all changed*******************************

Athena and Saylor went into Athena's room and closed the door. They were relatively quiet and played in there, for 30 minutes together. This may sound like nothing to some of you, but to those of you that were impressed with this, you know why. I heard Athena reading a book to her, then I heard the railroad track being built, then the maracas and drums were being played and then some animated toys were turned on.

All of this was going on and the girls remained happy and without getting hurt.

I was able to 1. make and drink coffee, 2. have a breakfast bar, 3.check email, and 4. write this blog post. Of course I keep anticipating that someone is going to run out of the room in tears or blood, but I am still writing.

I came to the realization that my daughters may be becoming the bffs that we hoped they would become. It also brought to light that I may not be their sole entertainer! So this is why I found this to be so fantastic this morning as I had my brekkie and blogged.

Of course, now that I have actually written this out for the universe to read, they are going to come out of their room running screaming like banshees.

It's gone from this.....

to sometimes being this.....

Peep Show and Tell

2009-09-03T10:02:00.003-05:00

So, now that Athena is in her Montessori school, there are certain things that are expected of her. One of these wonderful activities, that she will need to actively participate in, is Show and Tell.

I asked the teacher about it and she said "she can bring in anything she wants, but it cannot be a toy". Ok, great. There are some parameters, but, nothing too daunting.

Please listen in to our conversation about what to bring in.......

Me- Babe, it's your turn for show and tell on friday. What do you want to bring in?
Athena- Bring in? To tell about?
Me- Yes, what do you want to bring in to your classroom to tell your friends about?
Athena- My train set. The one with the bridge.
Me- oh, sorry, love, it can't be a toy.
Athena- No, not a toy, my train set.
Me- Well, your train set is a toy, because you can play with it. So, what do you want to take in to school from your room?
Athena- My hippopotamus, Gloria.
Me- Well, that's a toy too.
Athena-I don't play with it, I sleep with it.
Me- ok, this is sorta hard to understand huh? Ok, what can you take in to your classroom that you don't play with, but would like to show your friends?
Athena- Ummmm. The "something I didn't understand"
Me- The what?
Athenn- The "something I didn't understand"
Me- The outkast cd? What? we don't even have the outkast cd. what?
Athena- Momma! the owl cast!
Me- The owl cast, owl, cast? Omgosh....The Owl cast?
Athena- Yes.
Me- Ummmmm. ok.

This, my friends is what my daughter wants to take into "show and tell" on friday.........

Yes, my belly cast. I will have to turn off my cell phone and have Michael pick her up from school.

I soooooo wish she could take her train set.

1st day of school's Power Lunch

2009-08-25T16:34:00.004-05:00

Me -hey, athena, what did you have for lunch today?

Athena- nothing.

Me- what did you eat today for lunch? (you know that special rephrasing for 3 year olds)

athena-french fries.

me-french fries and what?

abba-that's it.

me-that's it???????

athena-and chocolate milk.

me- oh good *rolling my eyes in the driver's seat*. french fries and chocolate milk. Listen, tomorrow, can you choose the other milk?

athena- the other milk?

me- yeah.

athena- ok. I don't like strawberry milk.

me- fucking el *in my head*.

me- athena, please choose the white milk.

athena-yes, white milk. with french fries.

*sigh*

Blowing Barbie

2009-08-24T12:41:00.004-05:00

Ok, well, 35 is well on it's way. Here I am *wishing* that I was a better blogger.

Oooops, shouldn't have told you that. Damn.

Back from Bloggy staycation and "More Consistent Blogger" coming to a theater near you.

Eyebrow Seamstress

2009-08-09T08:19:00.003-05:00

First off, I am sorry that 1.) my posts have been so scant and 2.) that they will again be about hair .

I have recently discovered (funny, how this is an ancient technique, yet, I just realized where to get it done) eyebrow threading. It is incredible.

If any of you actually know know me, you know that I have thick and bushy eyebrows that are maintained and manicured by waxing and tweezing. Tedious, and painful. I discovered threading at the mall of all places, a kiosk in fact. A pretty little east Indian lady was sitting there, threading another lady's eyebrows. It was fascinating. She looked like a slow, human sewing machine. Both her hands and her mouth were used to pluck these hairs. I was intrigued. I hovered over the other lady (who had her eyes closed so she was unaware) and wanted it done on my eyebrows.

I sat in the chair ready for it and realized early on that I was going to be doing this from now on. Not only is the pain less than tweezing, but also better than the brusk act of waxing. When she was done with my brows, she asked (politely) if I like (the mess we call) my upper lip done too, I said "yes, please". It was precision personified. She dealt with each hair, but pulled it in a manner that somehow didn't really hurt. When I looked at the mirror she handed me, I was throughly impressed and very happy with the results. It had dawned on me that I hadn't asked her the price yet. I mean, whatever it was I would have to pay it now, but I asked her anyhow. Do you know that it was cheaper than my waxing salon???????? $10 for brows and $5 for upper lip.

Anyhow, I am sold and I thought I'd share.

Here is an example of what I speak of.

Epi(scream like a banshee)Lady

2009-07-29T00:19:00.006-05:00

I was in bed and having a slight bout of insomnia and the thought of the epilady comes to my mind. I didn't want it there but it was there and it lingered around for a while.

I was remembering how badly I wanted this little machine. It was the bees knees back in middle school and I had it on every "wish" list I could muster.

One Christmas, I finally receive the epilady and thought it was so cool.

I was so cool.

I mean come on, I had the power of an electric hair removal system in my hand. It looked smart, it was ergonomically designed to feel smart and the commercial was awesome. I was so stoked, I pulled up my pajama pant bottom and looked at my hairy leg. I was so excited to (in a circular motion) to remove my unwanted hair.

*******This thing was barbaric.*******

I did not know about wine and percocet at age 12, but, I think you truly would need this when using. The pain (to me) was enormous. For those of you who don't remember (or have blocked out of your memory), this thing had a coil like this...

and it would rotate around and "catch" the hairs and pluck them out for you. It was like a tweezer on a treadmill (not sure how that would work, but you get where I'm going). You went too slow you would be in agonizing pain, you went too fast you would just graze over your hair. Moving the rotating spring across the skin caused the hairs to be "caught up" in the spring and pulled out the hair. Ugh, I cringe just remembering that thing.

I used it for a good 34 seconds and promptly put it back in the box and swore I would try again. I had to. It was an epilady folks. I knew I needed to use after bath or shower, pull skin taught, start slowly, go in direction of hair growth (did this even matter), and use moisterizing cream.

I never touched the thing again.

I was terrified.

That thing sat in it's box with all of it's bells and whistles forever. I have no clue what ever happened to that epilady, I just know that I hope some of you remember this and can share your experiences with me.

You do remember right?

I need to go to sleep.

Two Thousand Word Thursday (on a friday)

2009-07-17T17:08:00.004-05:00

1.

2.

Sorry, I couldn't get to the computer yesterday to play TWT on time :(

Comment on what you think the subjects are thinking or saying.
You can do both, either or neither.

I love thursdays....er....fridays two.

FB etiquette

2009-07-15T11:24:00.004-05:00

There has to be some rules, somewhere. I swear, I feel so old and not "with it" when I am on facebook. The funny part is that everyone else is as old as me and probably less with it, kwim (know what I mean...for those of you less cool).

It is a place where you want to be you but realize that most of these people don't really know you because you have befriended half of North America. You have to censor your comments, remarks and pictures b/c there are ALL SORTS OF people on here. So when you are commenting on your "friend's" pictures and you really want to drop the f bomb (because it really is the right expletive) you don't b/c you don't know if this person has their mother, father, children, co workers, bosses, children, teachers, babysitters, in laws, etc etc etc on their friend list. This personal and professional site is a tough dance for me.

Now the actual procedure of "Friending" is where I get super frazzled. Let me walk you through it. I get a friend request from someone. There is no message attached to the request. I either 1. just know who you are because you went to school with me, 2. are a friend of a friend that I went to school with, 3. realize that I have met this person ONCE, or 4. have no clue who you are. I have a hard time with each of these. First off, would it kill any of you to put a little message on the friend request? I mean a short "great to see you on here" or "met you at the playground last tuesday" or "used to work with you ten years ago...I sat down the hall in a whole other department....but I want to be your friend on facebook". You know, something like that.

Secondly, why do you want to be my friend anyway? We didn't really care for each other in high school or college, why would it be different now? Or, I don't even know who you are. All of this promiscuous friending can lead to weirdness later. And if you are desperately trying to get to a "number" of friends to feel good about yourself or to feel popular, you are truly jacked up.

When I DO befriend you, you never write me, or comment on my pictures, or my status. What is the point here folks? Are you an acquaintance, lurker or snooper? This should be coined so. I would be ok with this b/c at least I would know what to expect from our "friendship".

All of the requests for pokes, games and trees and hugs. I don't get them, I don't play them. I don't really care what kind of cleaning detergent you are, ice cream flavor, which song you are, or what drink you are. Aren't all of you supposed to be working? I am a sahm, I am expected to be on the computer all of the time. These things make me laugh and I also laugh at the typos (grammatical and spelling) involved by the authors of the quiz.

All in all, I do happen to LOVE facebook. Most of it anyhow. I have just always pondered these questions and have wondered if any of you have too and what you have done about it. Are you "accept" happy or "ignore" happy.

Anyhow, as always, I have found a video on you tube to illustrate my point (or lack thereof).

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

2009-07-09T14:16:00.005-05:00

It's thursday again!!!! Wow does time ever fly by when you get old.
Thousand Word Thursday- Caption picture and what you think subjects are saying/thinking.

Thank you for your support (in a bartles and james way)

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

2009-07-02T10:57:00.004-05:00

Thursday already? Yikes, this week has flown by!

Ok, so it's TWT and I have gone old school. This is Athena with her old bff Aidan. *sniff*

Comment on what you think the subjects are thinking/saying.

Happy Thursday (and holiday friday)!!!!!

Wanna be a mommy or daddy? Try this.

2009-06-27T08:14:00.004-05:00

I got this as an email forward and was laughing my arse off...

MESS TEST
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick
behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

TOY TEST
Obtain a 55-gallon box of LEGOs (or you may substitute roofing
tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a
blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream
because this would wake a child at night.

GROCERY STORE TEST
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them
with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for
anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net
bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST
Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend
from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to
insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while
pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on
the floor.

NIGHT TEST
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12
pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00 p.m. begin
to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 p.m. Lay down your bag
and set your alarm for 10:00 p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and
sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more
and sing these too until 4:00 a. m. Set alarm for 5:00 a.m. Get
up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

INGENUITY TEST
Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint,
turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn
it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and
a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a Ping-Pong ball, and
an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel
Tower.

AUTOMOBILE TEST
Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream
cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a
dime. Stick it into the cd player. Take a family size
package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat.
Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There, perfect.

PHYSICAL TEST (Women)
Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your
clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.

PHYSICAL TEST (Men)
Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask
the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store.
Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be
directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home
and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT
Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how
they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet
training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can
improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their
children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last
time you will have all the answers

Take 2

2009-06-23T12:39:00.004-05:00

Well, you all remember my post baby body break up right? Well.....we didn't completely break it off like I said I had. I was ashamed to admit it but the constant emails, texts, flowers (cookie bouquets of course) and all out reconciliation attempts finally got to me. We got back to together.

But, I am here to say that we have broken up for good this time. For reals. She has moved on to someone who really appreciates her and needs her (someone who doesn't know what a drag she really is yet). Someone else, not me.

What am I doing to remind myself that what we had together was just an illusion, a mirage, a downright downer you ask?????.........roller derby boot camp of course.

Yes, tonight I begin exercising with the Machete Betties. 2 hours of hard hitting fun. I will learn basic skating skills and derby skills such as falls, stops, and contact. I am in for a raucous good time, I just know it. I will need skates, pads (elbow, knee, and wrist), and a helmet. Doesn't that just scream fun?

Anyhow, I am going to try it out and try to get in shape with these gals.

Don't they look sweet?

If I don't make it back to the blog, you know what happened.

Yoo-hoo???....it's still a Beach

2009-06-19T11:11:00.005-05:00

I am from Miami, my children, are not. We live *near* Galveston Beach, Texas.
This is not like a beach from Miami (please, don't be mad at me Texans).
I am not dogging the beach, or trying not to anyway.
Anyhow, it doesn't matter, look at them....they don't seem to care that they are swimming in yoo-hoo.

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

2009-06-18T16:40:00.004-05:00

TWT game- Leave a comment with what you think the subjects are saying/thinking.

Happy Thursday.....sorry I was so late today :(

It's in the jeans

2009-06-16T11:00:00.003-05:00

My daughter eats and loves pizza, the same way I do. It is my favorite food, actually it is my comfort food (as Carolina and I were discussing the other day). It is my "go to " food when I am happy, sad, angry, pms'ing, menstruating, ovulating....You get it.

I am convinced that in the first picture she is saying "why did I get this plate, I won't be needing it"

Doesn't she just look like she is enjoying this piece of pizza immensely? Yep, my daughter alright.

What is your comfort/go-to food?

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

2009-06-11T08:22:00.003-05:00

I lied, I guess I haven't jumped back on the blogging horse just yet. Argh. I want to and will. In the meantime, here is this week's twt. Thanks Cindy for request. She is a long time listener, first time caller.

Caption the picture with what you think the subjects are thinking or saying or both.

Happy Thursday!!!!

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

2009-06-04T08:04:00.003-05:00

Thursday's TWT game :)
Caption the picture and what you think the subjects are thinking or saying.

PS....these are girls I heart too.

Big Love

2009-06-03T13:56:00.004-05:00

We have HBO's show Big Love on our Netflix queue. We have been getting it now and have watched all of season 1, we are about to begin season 2. Fascinated (even though it is a show I believe loosely based on real life, I also believe creators did a lot of research on it)about the idea, practice, or divine calling which is polygamy (the practice or condition of having more than one spouse, esp. wife, at one time).

There are moments in the show, when I am like...."yes, totally into polygamy" and other times when I am like "Oh Hell, No".

Yes times-

*other people cooking for me
*other people taking care of my kids
*having time alone every three nights (read a book, or chat with friends...new, friends. sister wife friends)
*great looking family photos
*always someone to talk to and vent to
*I could be first wife
*great blog fodder

Hell, No times-

*sharing husband, I guess this is the really big no
*fighting with other women who are as smart and as "womanly" as you
*dealing with other people's pms other than mine
*cooking for many other people
*taking care of other sister wives' kids
*if I were second or third wife
*having to consult 10 people for anything we do
*having to lie to everyone we meet and not being able to have anyone over to visit because we have a plural marriage and household.

So as you can see, luckily, we don't live in Utah, and are not Mormons. I would have said "no way jose" before seeing the actual show, and now, I will just say "No, thanks".

There are also times when Michael says Yes! and No!!!! to the idea of polygamy. We can all imagine what his list would look like.

You take the good, you take the bad, you take 'em both and there you have.....polygamy, polygamy.

Clown Bear Escentuals

2009-06-01T07:23:00.004-05:00

You see the commercials, you see them at the cosmetic counter, you see them at target, you see them on your friends......so you give it a try.

Am I the only one who does not know how to actually wear mineral makeup? I find that no matter how minuscule the amount that I manage to pick up with my brush, I end up looking like Mimi from The Drew Carey Show. Not only is it difficult to put on for me but it leaves a hell of a mess on the counter, sink and my clothes. I like the concept and I appreciate how concentrated the product is, but, let's face it, operator error.

So what does a girl in the 2000s do to get educated about a subject? Class? Yes, you in the back? Exactly, get a Youtube tutorial.

Ahhhh, I should swirl it in.

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

2009-05-28T10:26:00.002-05:00

Let me know what you think the subjects are saying/thinking in this picture.

Have fun, I do :)

Happy Thursday www!!!!

Blogging Hiatus

2009-05-27T11:51:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the reprieve, but, between busy holiday weekends, my j.o.b., and lack of bloggy mojo, I have been away. I hope all of you are great (we are doing awesomely). I will begin to catch up with my bloggy friends soon and catch y'all up on the BAMS and the girls I heart.

I also want to say that the winner of the super cutey shoes(using random.org and applying the "credits" to each of you accordingly) is ........................

BECCA at Deatons in Hong Kong

Go visit her and tell her how happy you are that she won these great little shoes ;) These shoes will potentially be walking all over hong kong and the coolness that is that city!

Bec, I will be contacting you with the Bugaloo contact information.

Now, back to your regularlly scheduled blogging......

Bugaloo Giveaway 4 U

2009-05-18T14:13:00.011-05:00

i heart 2 girls was approached to do product review by the cutest. shoe company. ever.

Bugaloo.

I haven't done a product review on purpose (since mami skincare)even though I have been approached before. I wanted to make sure I would be able to love it and scream it from the rooftops. I happen to think that these shoes are really really cute, well made, fashionable, affordable and did I mention CUTE!

This review will be straight from the horse's (or pony's rather) mouth.....

These shoes are cute, comfortable, and they do not slip off of me. I have yet to lose one. They hold steadfast to my fat little feet, yet, come off easily with precise movements from my mom.

They are easy, cute (notice the details?), and cost way less then R......z. Shame on those people for charging so much for their shoes. These are also leather, with the characters being just as cute (if not cuter), but for much less. So many styles and colors schemes to choose from too.

Here I am feeling them out. Yep, leather, and sturdy.

I walked around and they really felt nice on the soles of my feet and with my size WW pillowy foot, it was nice to not have any straps or buckles digging into me. Did I mention the inside of the shoe is lined? (nodding) lined.

Now, if that wasn't enough to make you all go out and buy them, I want to tell you what Bugaloo does with 5% of each purchase. It is donated to the International Justice Mission, an agency that secures justice for victims of child slavery.

Oh and I forgot to mention that if you buy three pairs you get FREE SHIPPING! Even internationally.

Soooo, you get the gist right? We love the shoes. And you now want a pair, right?

Welllllllllllllllllllll, I can hook you up!

Bugaloo is giving away one pair of shoes for one of my readers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep, you read right.....you can win a freeeeee pair!

Here is how...........

So what we are going to do is 1. the websit e viewing. Come back and tell me which adorable shoe was your favorite and what size you will be needing that in. That move will get you ONE entry. If you are already a follower or become one, you get TWO entries and if you blog about my contest on your blog, then you'll get a whopping FIVE entries.

I will be using random.org and choosing a winner in one week and a day. Tuesday, May 26th.

Have fun and good luck :)

The website is www.bugalookids.com

Massage, Mani/Pedi and an MRI

2009-05-15T14:04:00.005-05:00

You read right. M. R. I. Magnetic Resonance Imaging. I had one this morning. Not for anything too scandalous, just to figure out the vertigo I have been feeling as of late. (the above picture is not of me, even though, I did need to go get my facial hair waxed).

It. was. fabulous. I know I sound psychotic, but, I have not been this relaxed in a long time. After the prep, it was all smooth sailing.

I removed my nose ring, earrings, and ring ring. I was covered with a nice cozy and soft blanket and I had to lay completely still on this sliding table thingee. My forehead was strapped down and was instructed to "not move, or breathe too deeply". If I moved, they would have to start again. I was told the first one would be for 25 minutes and then they would pull me out of the machine and inject me with gadolinium (a contrast material to help see the issues better) and then put me back in for ten. I was then handed ear plugs to help keep the noises that whirr around you lowly. Finally, I was handed this button to press if I completely wigged out.

I asked all of the pertinent questions 1. "well when you say move do you mean like move move?" he answered, "if you need to move, you can move your big toe, slightly", 2."can I blink?" he answered "softly", 3."What if I need to cough?" he answered "swallow gently", 4."an itch?" he answered "tough titties" (he really didn't), he said I would have to "weigh out the consequences of scratching", 5."how long is this going to be again?" 25 for the first one, injection then 10", 6. "will it hurt?" he said "no". Then he asked "ahem, can we get started"?

Strapped in, arms crossed (with panic bulb in them), feeling cozy, we started. I immediately closed my eyes and started to hear all sorts of noises. They were like humming, knocking and low vibrations. Can you say "sleepy time". I was being shushed to sleep. I knew I didn't want to sleep b/c of the fear of snoring or twitching or moving but I also knew I could be alert and waiting b/c the 25 minutes would drag on. So I hovered in the weirdest, most relaxing little place. I let my mind float around and I ran through all sorts of lists and situations and scenarios. I watched my breathing but allowed myself to go from thought to thought. It was quiet, cool, I was still. It was so relaxing. After becoming a mother, these moments are so few and far between. Listen to how relaxed I was that he peers in to the machine and says to me, "I will be pulling you out now but DO NOT MOVE. I will inject you and place you back in". I didn't answer him or nod or really anything. I was pulled out, vein was found, needle put in, eyes tightened a smidgen, and I was placed right back into the vessel. 10 more minutes and voila, done. I was so relaxed. He said I did great and the pictures were "great and very clear". I was happy to hear. And relaxed.

So, next mothers day, ask for the mani/pedi/MRI special. If you're like me, you'll be happy you did.

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

2009-05-14T08:59:00.005-05:00

We've gone old school at TWT.
Comment on what you think these subjects are thinking/saying.
Happiest Thursday and sorry for my absence :)

Cinco de Mayo

2009-05-07T15:31:00.008-05:00

How did we celebrate cinco de mayo this year you ask? Well, with cupcakes of course. Some people do tequila, some do margaritas, some do mariachi. We, did cupcakes.

It is Athena Blaze's official half birthday!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, Sassafras turned 3 and half.

So, what does a newly branded 3.5 year old get to do that day?

Yep, have cupcakes with pals at 3:30pm.

Happy Half Birthday Boober!

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

2009-05-01T14:54:00.004-05:00

Sorry for forgetting yesterday and thank you for reminding me!!!!! How could I forget one of my favorite activities throughout the week. When I started TWT in August of last year, I never thought it would get to be so much fun. You all are hilarious, and always have me chuckling, laughing or guffawing. You girls are creative, and each of you see something different. Anyhow, I digress.

It's always hard to find a picture b/c I am snapping all of the time. This week's was taken by Sarah, a friend of mine :)

You know what to do ;) Happy Thursday!!!!!

Chocolatier's Profiling, 6 hrs a week

2009-04-29T09:41:00.006-05:00

Working smack dab in the middle of the mall, you see and hear, a lot. Not only with the customers that actually come up to the store but also the ones just fluttering about. Never having worked in retail really, and certainly never having worked in "food", this has been oh so entertaining for me. I am infinitely amused by people, and their behaviors, reactions and interactions with others. So, of course, I am selling chocolate but also analyzing the crap out of them. How is the saying.......You can take the therapist out of the therapizing, but you can't take the therapizing out of the therapist. Yeah, I just made that up.

Mentally, I have broken up my customers into some categories.

I have customers that come allofthetime. These are what I like to call my "frequent fatties". Most of these are well, robust, and of a sturdy weight. They are great. They look at the chocolate case with complete abandon and borderline lust. Listen, it's chocolate and I get it (I do!) but really, with these folks, you almost don't want to interrupt. These folks eat the chocolate almost before you are done ringing them up and they eat it fast. They complain a bit about the price and how little they get for it. Sometimes, I think to myself that they should be buying a hershey's king size bar and be done with it. Sorry, my blog, my thoughts ;)

People that ask me specifics about the nutritional values of the truffles and chocolate. Making me read calories, fat, and sugars. Breaking down the serving size, saturated fat etc, I call these "the buzzkillers". Taking all the fun out of it. It's chocolate, not jenny craig or wholefoods.

Coming only to ask "do you have samples today" and then not buying anything. Those are my "pretenders". Even though, I too, have done this and will continue to once I leave this job. It's still funny. They pretend to be interested and even comment on this or that, but they walk away....slowly....lingering at the chocolate case pretending to think about it. Nope, I'm on to you.

And then my favorite, we will call them "the connoisseur". This is the customer that asks how they are made, what percentage of dark chocolate is in them, what style of ganache, what is our new pieces, how one piece differs from another. I love having these convos with these folks. It is fun and we both are engaged.

The "storytellers" are the ones that have lived in Europe (germany, belgium, sweden) and have a story about the chocolate "over there" and how much better it is and how they used to love walking through towns and buying fresh choclate etc. These are fun to listen to.

Then we have the "lady's choice" customers. These are people who ask me my favorite and leave it up to me to choose for them. Even though this is fun, choosing chocolate for someone is really not easy. I know what I love but it might not be what you love. The difference bewteen Dark, Milk and White chocolate is immense (I know, I am being dramatic but it's true) so it is really nerveracking for me to do this.

Finally (for today anyhow) there is the "BTDT (been there done that)" customers. These are customers that come with another person. This other person has never been to Godiva and the btdt person is their "guide". Stuff they say is "this is their signature chocolate", "you'll love this one", "they do this one really well", "this one is my favorite", "you just have to try it to really see", "this isn't like other chocoalte you've ever had", etc. etc. etc. Fun, but obnoxious.

Anyhow, I will keep an eye out (of course I will) for new profiles of our chocolate customers. I hope no one from corporate gets wind of my talking smack about the peeps that come to the store. I haven't given anyone my blog (not that they are even one bit interested) at work, so I think we're safe.

This concludes this installment of Chocolatier's Profiling...back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

2009-04-23T14:47:00.003-05:00

What are these subjects saying/thinking? Welcome to Thousand Word Thursday, TWT

Happy Thursday and Happy Commenting ;)

My IRL Conversations (while children are awake)

2009-04-20T21:06:00.006-05:00

Me talking....to Karen(names changed to protect the innocent) and the girls

"Hey, nice to see you Karen...what's going on"?

"Keep it down Athena, remember momma said to be quiet while she talks to Karen".

"Yeah, good to see you again. How is Kaitlyn"?

Athena says...."excuse me momma. excuse me momma. excuse me momma. Can we go in there?"

No, we can't go in there Athena. "waa, waa" Saylor, hold on baby, I will find your bottle in this purse.

"So, what's up Karen"?

Yes, we can go in there Athena. Listen, did you say hi to Kaitlyn? Say hi. Thank you.

"Oh Karen, Kaitlyn looks so big. How is she"?

Saylor is toddling around, aimlessly and I am nodding and trying to maintain eye contact with said friend as I walk backwards with my knees bent toward the baby. When I finally catch her, I attempt to carry her and her 25 lbs of love and realize that she is lunging off of me.

"Did you want to sit down somewhere so we can chat"?

Saylor is snotty so I pull out the boogie wipes to give her a wipe and then athena wants a "drink".

"So, how are you Karen"?

Athena wants to play with whatever Kaitlyn has and tells on her saying that she doesn't want to share. Karen intervenes rapidly talking to Kaitlyn about sharing and the need to let other children play with her stuff...yadda yadda.

"they love that toy don't they? It's a favorite around our house too"

"hey, so, fill me in on your life, friend"

by this time 30 minutes have gone by, athena needs to go potty, saylor is whiney and wanting to run onto oncoming traffic, they don't want the snack that I packed for them (that they loved yesterday), and the other mom is going through the exact. same. thing. on her end.

We look at each other and *sigh*. We talk about getting together without the children so that we can have a continuous, unfragmented conversation, and so that we can actually find out HOW THE OTHER IS.

This is the secret to Moms Nights Out. It is really to finish the thirty seven conversations that we start at the playground, playdates, zoo, museum, etc..

Godiva Giveaway

2009-04-17T12:27:00.005-05:00

because really? what's the point of working there if I can't hook bloggy sistahs up? I have decided that I will be sending out a surprise to the winner. Just know, it will be chocolate and it will be Godiva. Really a win/win if you ask me.

Now, I have decided that I want this to be interactive this time. I want to ask you all some questions (that the answers can be found in the blog somewhere). They won't be hard but it will be fun. At least for me :)

What is the cost of most of my favorite things?

Am I pregnant?

If so, how far along?

What color hair did I have and for how long?

How many children do I have?

Gender?

Their names?

Following me?

If not, get thee to the "follow" button stat.

Then random.org can do the rest.

And this old school rewind is just for S & G's.

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

2009-04-16T16:32:00.003-05:00

Happy Thursday.....Happy Commenting.......Happy TWT ;)

What a bright Ikea

2009-04-13T13:10:00.003-05:00

Well, as you know, I have a couple of rug rats running around here. I am always looking for creative things to do with them that are easy, free, and fun. I have a mental list of things 'round town that we put into the circuit o' fun throughout the week. Zoo, Museum, McDonald's Play zone, Playdates etc. All of these things are fun and Freeeeeeeeee. Love me some free.

Well, add a new one to the mix. Ikea. Yes, the swedish-particle-board-hard-to-assemble- mecca, Ikea. It has a a playground called Smaland. Cute right? Well, you have to be potty trained...check, between 37-54 inches tall....check, and agree to pick up your child in one hour....check (can we negotiate on this one? I can't really navigate my way through the window less labyrinth that quickly). You are given a buzzer like the one at large chain restaurants and are *buzzed* when their time is up. Best of all is that it is....say it together now....Fa. reeeeee.

Athena loves it. She jumps into the ball pit (yes, she is deloused and disinfected upon leaving), colors, swings and watches whatever movie they have playing at the time. We usually have lunch there (cheap, cheap brekkie!!!!) and then she goes to Smaland. Saylor and I are left to see what is up in the land of the umlaut. It is a fun couple of hours. We all dig it.

What are some ideas for fun, and freeeeeeeee for toddlers and preschoolers?????

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

2009-04-09T12:06:00.003-05:00

Every Thursday I will post a picture up on my blog and let you all comment on what you think the subjects are saying/thinking. This is TWT.

Happy Thursday!

Really? You're 15 months already? sniff

2009-04-06T08:32:00.003-05:00

My gosh. Time really flies when you're having fun.

Pictures taken by The Shannon

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

2009-04-02T10:41:00.003-05:00

You know what to do.

If not...

Game. Every Thursday I will post a picture up on my blah blah blahg and let you all comment on what you think the subjects are saying/thinking.

Silent Ode to Baby Legs

2009-03-25T16:37:00.009-05:00

Well sort of......

Every single time I put these on Saylor, I sing this song. Every single time.

She wears them a lot.

www.babylegs.com

TWT

2009-03-25T16:24:00.006-05:00

Happy Thousand Word Thursday Y'all.

Happy Commenting :)

Oompa Loompa's Pyramid

2009-03-24T22:18:00.006-05:00

Ever since I started at G spot (a mere week ago), I have taken this new view on the food groups. Incredible how I have been able to incorporate chocolate in them all throughout my day. I work a couple of evenings a week (I started a freakin' week ago). I have managed to taste many flavors and to take home the fruit that they will discard.

It's not just me, but Athena has had a chocolate covered strawberry for breakfast everyday this week. What sort of chocolate elitist am I raising here? *sigh*

My pyramid looks a little something like this.......

Protein-Macadamia Mosaic, and Almond Bark
Dairy-Caramel Embrace (and it sure does feel like a hug)
Vegetable-Pumpkin spice Truffles
Fruit-Chocolate dipped Strawberries, Key lime truffle, mixed berry basket, and glazed apricots.

I *think* the top of the pyramid says Fats, Oils, and Sweets, Don't Spare Usage.

Lord, please let me tire of chocolate soon.

If not, there will be a spare tire embracing my middle.

Please?

Pretty Please?

With a Cherry Cordial on top?

2 Thousand Word Thursday (2TWT)

2009-03-19T14:37:00.003-05:00

1.

2.

Sorry for posting two of them. I couldn't decide. Hey, I heart 2 girls ya know ;)

Post what you think these subjects are saying/thinking

Happy Captioning! and Happy Thursday!

New J.O.B.

2009-03-18T09:45:00.005-05:00

As most of you know (especially the oldies but goodies), I applied, interviewed, accepted and started a part time job at Godiva Chocolatier last night. Needless to say that I romanticized this idea, to the hilt. I said, "I will be working a couple of nights (6-9pm) a week, mingling with customers, talking about truffles and having some 'adult time'".

WTF was wrong with me? It is a job. However you slice it.

I got there and was greeted by two (mental note *do not give blog address to coworkers*) aprons named "Da Homey" (yep, I'll wait.) and Ginnifer. I was "taught" (I use this word loosely) how to tie ribbons on boxes, food safety rules (you know, gloves on, gloves off), how to sort chocolate, where the garbage was, and where the stock room was.

Where was my mingling with customers, my guffawing with truffle jokes, my discussions about technique and origin, my personal favorites disclosures, where was the hype I had created?

I was asking so. many. questions. (I am VERY INQUISITIVE by nature. This is the primary reason for having become a psychotherapist in the first place...people pay me to ask questions?....where is the sign up sheet?) I got this weird look from them. Like..."why the hell are you asking so many questions lady....it is a JOB". I then made the mistake to ask an apron why she decided to work there. She shrugs her shoulders and said, "they were hiring" and "I like sweets so I applied". Ok, fair enough.

I think they hate me. I made the analogy earlier to some friends about me being that older lady in the front row in your college classes. You know the one. The one that answers all of the questions the teacher asks, does the extra credit, optional readings, etc. I use this analogy not b/c I am old but b/c I have that second wind. I have grown to have work ethic and to care about what I am doing. I have also "chosen" to work. So, yep, they hate me.

Anyhow, I won't bore you about the rest of my night. I did however have quite the smile as I was mopping the floor thinking that the lady who cleans my house just did this today. I wasn't even going to tell my husband about this. I guess it's too late now. I think he reads this jibberish :)

I know this was only the disillusion of my "idea" of how it would go. I do look forward to working again believe it or not. I enjoyed being looked at like a real woman and not just a mother and all of the assumptions that are rolled into that. I do look mighty cute in that apron if I may say so myself. Oh wait, it's my blog, I can :)

I do have to say that it was all made better when I was handed a tray of chocolate dipped strawberries upon my "shift ending" because they were going to throw them away because they were there for 6 hrs. Um. Yes, please.

Evening Wood

2009-03-17T09:17:00.005-05:00

What did you think this post would be about?

Michael and I had an adult outing the other night. It was great. We were invited by our friend, to her husband's exhibit, at their home.

Omar is an artist that works with wood. I won't post much more about materials and process because I don't want to make it seem less fabulous than it was and I know I will just splotch it up if I was left to my own descriptors. Check his website out!!!!!!!!!

His stuff was beautiful and incredibly sexy. What a talent. Seriously, if we had two pennies (maybe a few more than that) to rub together and we didn't have a 3 year old and 1 year old that perpetually have a crayon/marker/pencil attached to their hands I would soooooo be buying his art.

Spring Fling Winner?

2009-03-16T14:12:00.008-05:00

"Lucky" Official Video With Colbie Caillat

Hi there everyone!!!!!!! In honor of St. Patrick's day tomorrow, I posted one of my favorite songs as of late!!! And of course this song cleverly ties into the Spring Fling Winner of the 12 glorious pieces of GODiva chocolate box.

I have soooooooooo enjoyed reading all of your comments and I didn't realize how many of you adored chocolate. I wish I had more chocolate to give away. Srsly. The good thing is that now I know that this is a stellar idea for giveaways which will happen often! They are so much fun.

Are you feeling lucky?

After tabulating all of the entries. Putting it in a spreadsheet. Cutting up the papers into little strips. Placing the strips into my cowboy hat (Texan much?). I pulled out our winner. I was going to youtube all of this (like I did the mami skin care post) but quickly realized y'all didn't really give a damn how it was done, just that it was you or wasn't you. Know that this technique was followed by the letter of the law and no animals were harmed during the picking of this winner (now children are a different story).

Without Further Freakin' Ado......

That Godiva Chocolate Box Winner is.......

nikkicrumpet at Blah, Blah, Blah, blog. Please go and find her and let her know you're *happy* for her ;)

No really, now that I have the part time at the joint, I will having many more giveaways for you! I am excited.

Anyhow y'all, thanks for playing and happy blogging!

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

2009-03-12T09:15:00.006-05:00

First of all...whew. Spring has flung at SITS and I am exhausted. What great fun it was. I am loving all of the new blogs that I have gotten to read and I love that there were so many awesome visitors to mine.

I also wanted to add that I will be choosing (by old school random.org fashion.....you know, putting everyone's names on strips of paper and pulling out of a hat) this Monday (the 16th) to give people an opportunity to enter and to become a lemming.....er...drink the kool aid....er....follow :)

Task at hand...TWT. This is something I came up with to , well, entertain myself really. It is a game where you tell me what the subjects were thinking or saying.

Examples are here, here, here and here. It is my favorite day of the week.

Have fun :) I know I will.

Spring Fling!!!!

2009-03-10T11:19:00.003-05:00

The sits girls are at it again with their awesomeness. If you don't know who the sits girls are shame on you. Srsly.

This time they have gotten all interactive and stuff. Not only are they giving away a prize every hour!!!!! but, they have encouraged and linked up members to do the same!!! So what that means is that if you check out all of the links posted on their site, chances are you'll win something or at least be introduced to some stellar blogs. And yes, the girls I heart will be neglected today. All in the name of giveways :)

What is my contribution you ask?????????????

My giveaway (as supermommy called it) is a godiva truffles box (this one..the 12 piecer). Yep, you read right...GODiva. Oh and to my avid readers....yes, I got the part time job. Yay for me :)

Back to the task at hand, How do you get a chance to win you ask?????????

Leave Comment, 1 entry
Follow this blog, 3 entries

Easy Peasy.

Have fun and I hope you enjoy all of the possible winnings and all of the new blogs.

Hip Hip Hooray for SITS.

This really takes the cake.....or the potatoes.

2009-03-05T15:34:00.005-06:00

When I first had children I never realized how having them could change every fiber and facet of my being. It changed me physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, perceptually, and thoroughly. So many aspects and habits and rituals changed for me, for us. Today though, really takes the cake. I am impressed or ashamed, even for me.

I have two daughters. They are in two car seats. When we arrive at a place...any place, it is a big deal. I either wear the little one and grab the big one's hand, or both go in the shopping cart, one goes in the basket and one in the cart, well you get all of the variations of this combo. The point always remains the same though, it is a hassle to do it, so you better make your car exit count. Well, I am foreshadowing a bit but a I would like to add some background history. I went grocery shopping two days ago. I got everything I needed. So I thought.

Apparently the potatoes at my house were growing sprouts. We use them mostly for that curry dish that we adore. Michael had specifically asked me to make it for dinner because he had a hankering for the dish. As a good domestic goddess *cough*bullshit*cough*, I oblige. Well, there weren't any potatoes for our dish. I said, "forget it, I'll go to the grocery store with the girls".

We go out and meet some friends at a park and we have a picnic and have a great time. I over extend the girls b/c we are having so much fun. As any parent knows, your child could be the carefree, happy go lucky, commercial child and then turn on you. A complete 180 degree turn, in a flash. This, my friends is exactly what happened. Both girls lost their shit in the car on the way home. It dawned to me to stop at the store to pick up the damned potatoes, but, then I QUICKLY talked myself out of it.

Do you know what I did instead?

I drove through Wendy's and picked up 4 baked potatoes for the dish. 4 of them. Not only did I pay 1840's Irish prices for them at $1.29 a piece!!!! but I couldn't actually believe I was doing it. I was quite chuffed with myself and I immediately thought of how I needed to blog about it. I needed to confess and purge myself of this.

1 potato, 2 potato, 3 potato......Frosty?

Happy Thursday Y'all,

Be back next week for thousand word thursday :)

Go Diva!

2009-03-04T09:02:00.005-06:00

5 Benefits of Dark Chocolate

Studies have shown dark chocolate to lower blood pressure
Studies have also shown dark chocolate to lower bad cholesterol (LDL)
It turns women on more than a passionate kissing session (no wonder they want it for Valentine's Day!)
Contains serotonin, a natural mood-boosting anti-depressant
Stimulates pleasure-inducing endorphin production

Reading this you say.....how can this be true? How could the oompa loompas and Willy been right all along? Really, this list triggers a bunch of questions right?

Well let me share a story that will show you how truly committed I am to my health.

I was at our fabulous mall the other day. I was with a girlfriend and just strolling in and out of stores. It was nice, I had only one of the daughters that I heart with me so it was quite manageable. We meandered into the chocolatier named Godiva. What a great place; it smells and looks divine. The truflles are precisely placed within the glass case with the utmost of care, making them look more like jewelry and less like "just" chocolate. The gold boxes and ribbons strewn about are very inviting and just scream luxury and decadence. I start to chat it up with the sales girl and and begin to discuss chocolate and flavors and the such. All of a sudden (don't know if it was the endorphins running amuck), almost as if it was an out of body experience I ask her "are you hiring"? She smiles and says, "why, yes we are". She continues and says "only for part time though. I am looking for someone just a couple of nights a week". I smile wider and say "may I have an application please?" I take it and put it in my purse. As I walk out of the store, I realize that I could potentially be working there.

I get called for an interview the day I turn in my application. I excitedly agree and set up the time. I get dressed for the interview and try to get my head around what questions they will be asking. Thoughts run through my head...I have not worked for the past 4 years,....when I did work it was in mental health and in management....I only worked retail for a few years in college. I feel like I am a bit rusty. I go to the interview anyway.

We were enthralled in conversation and the interview felt like it was going great. I didn't realize how many many skills are transferrable. I also had to use examples from Mommy groups and Blazing Cheesecakes to complement my "tell me a time when you..." examples.

We wind down our convo, she seems happy with the way it went, she asked other pertinent questions like availability and stuff. I say that I am willing to work a couple of nights a week. I start to think that Michael will have to do the dinner/nighttime routine by himself and then I feel bad for him. Then I quickly remember that I would be missing out on the chaos and fun. Then I remember that I will be missing out on the chaos and fun.

I hope I get the job ;) It will be fun to mindlessly sell chocolate and all of the benefits of it :) Of all of my ideas though, I do find this to be one of my most awesome, brilliant, and superb AND moronic, nonsensical, and imbecilic ones. Being around chocolate, and not just any chocolate, Godiva chocolate. Tasting and "training" on all the different types and flavors. Sampling, "learning".

I should have found a job at the gym, or nutrisystem or Jenny Craig.

Oh well, IF I get the job, I will surely let you all know how it is going.

Thousand Word Thursday

2009-02-26T14:59:00.003-06:00

Bag Lady

2009-02-25T10:53:00.006-06:00

This is a game that I have neglected to play b/c I just hadn't had the "time" to take pictures of my bag. I was tagged three times by three hot assed bloggers, Rachel, Katy, and Aubrey and it is time to divulge what's in the bag. Michael calls it my Monty Hall purse. I agree, but, I did need to clean it out recently so, here is the efficient version of my purse/diaper bag/back back/holder of any and all things.

Here is the my $22.99 Target purse in all of her glory....

I have taken a picture of it's contents for you. I did not, however, include the itty bitty pieces of papers, wrappers, coupons, random business cards, marker tops, rubber bands, pens, and stray tic tacs...even though I should have.

What is all of this you ask? Well we'll take it from the top, you have three jewelry boxes that I need to give to a friend that attended my "party", then I have blue panties for athena (really?), boogie wipes (first introduced to me by Katy), hello kitty stationery (yep, mine), a hot pink pacifier for Say, 3 handmade coffee cozies (thanks again Tammy!) for the oh so hot cups o' joe, walmart wipes, hello kitty wipe holder (really a pencil case but I improvised), keys with owl key chain for athena, herbal lip gloss that I bought at Sally Beauty Supply, wallet, sunglasses, and finally to complete my ensemble, a pair of babylegs.

So here it is. The Bag Tag game is now complete, except that I have to choose five people and I say (in a mardi gras voice) "show us yer bags". Don't be party poopers and spoil the fun either ;)

1. Amy
2. Becca
3. Megan
4. Wheezer
5. Amy

Have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What'd you do today???????

2009-02-23T14:28:00.007-06:00

This is an article (more like dear abby style) that was written in the Washington Post in 2007. I dedicate it to all of my childless friends (that I adore) in hopes that they understand how all encompassing all of this hearting two girls really is. Contrary to popular belief, I don't just got to playgroups and Chuck E. Cheese (as they seem to assume I do). So, even though I do not want to use the girls as an excuse, if I do not write, call or communicate more often...feel secure in the fact that it ain't you sister, it's me.

TELL ME ABOUT IT ®

By Carolyn Hax
Wednesday, May 23, 2007; C10

Carolyn:

Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .

Okay. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.

Tacoma, Wash.

Relax and enjoy. You're funny.

Or you're lying about having friends with kids.

Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.

Internet searches?

I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.

So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.

It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.

It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.

It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.

It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.

It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.

Thousand Word Thursday

2009-02-19T08:57:00.003-06:00

It is Thursday again....weeks go by very quickly since having children. I'll be back to give y'all an update on our going ons. Anyhow, in the meanwhile, caption this :)

Happy Thursday!!!!!!!

Two Thousand Word Thursday

2009-02-12T09:22:00.003-06:00

1.)
2.)

I could not decide today. Please choose one or both to comment on. Sorry for the technical difficulties , I just came across the bottom one of Athena at 9 months old and my heart melted again.

You know how to play right? Thousand Word Thursday (TWT) is a game that you add subject's thoughts and/or what they could be saying.

Happy Thursday to you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Three Way Mirrors.....yea or nay?

2009-02-11T10:37:00.004-06:00

There are truly some great arguments, some pros and cons, some good discussion about being able to see yourself in all angles.

We should because.....

1. We can see how our hair looks. Whether it is flat or there is a cow lick.

2. We can see how our ass looks. Whether it is flat or looks like a cows rump.

3. We can see how our back fat looks. Oh yeah, didn't see that when you were getting ready at home with your simple little mirror didja?

4. We can see how people see us in line, walking away from them, walking past them, getting up from our seats, etc.

5. We get a total picture of your being. Wow, that was deep.

We shouldn't because......

1. All of the above reasons. and....

2. We would become obsessed with looking at every aspect of our figure and how we move and how are hair lays and yadda yadda.

3. We would dance around and see how you look doing it. Oh, is that only me who does that?

4. It would take MORE time to get ready then it already does.

5. Finally, you probably would not leave the house.

All of these discoveries came after a recent trip to my dope dealer...er...I mean Target. I went in (ready for this?) with a couple of bikinis to try on for summer. I was taking the mature route and thought I could try these on early and assess the sitch.

Why oh why did I do this? I was feeling good about myself and my new found gym effort. I had broken up with my post baby bod and thought this was a thing of the past. Well, my post baby bod REARED it's ugly head again, in the three way mirror no less. I was like, who is in here with me? I fear my post baby bod texted me. I was going to text back, but I resisted.

I walked out like if I had just seen a live execution.

I pacified myself and said "It's ok Bar-b. It's early. And we are not getting back together, even if it is Valentine's Day on Saturday"

Like I mentioned earlier, I think the mirrors can be used for good and for evil. I will return to target's fitting room after I rent, eat, and digest Buns of Steel thankyouverymuch.

What do you all think of the three way mirror? Friend or foe?

Old School Rewind...

2009-02-08T14:13:00.002-06:00

This is Athena and/or Saylor a few years from now, lol.

Oh and I know I have been tagged to do some pretty fun stuff and I promise I will. Promise.

In. Genious.

2009-02-01T15:28:00.005-06:00

I feel like I have won a prize or something. I do. I have come across the most obvious answer to my prayers. Firstly, How many of you (mommas, especially stay at home ones) do not get to shower everyday? Can I get an Amen sisters???? It never seems to be the right time to. Someone is either up from nap, about to go nap, in the backyard, wanting to eat, wanting to stop eating, potty training, wanting a new dvd put in or out, etc. Even when I do get to the shower it is lightning fast and I usually forget to shave, or exfoliate or condition long enough. Need I go on?

So showers are left for when they go to sleep at night. The problem here is that I need to wash my hair when I bathe. that means I would need to blow dry it before bed and that just takes up too much time when I could be doing something else. I am also in bed by 9:30pm. Call me what you will but I have to be bright eyed and bushy tailed for the glee club at 7am. Second question... do any of you go to the gym?? Yes, I know a lot of you do (and if you don't now, you will after you read this). I go MWF when I drop off the big kid at her pre-school. Thirdly (I promise I am going somewhere with this), how many of you put your kids in the gym nursery included with your membership?

Ok, so do you see where I am headed?

First answer + Second answer + Third answer = (wait for it) A peaceful, unbothered, shower at the gym with no one tugging at the curtain or calling for you or wanting to jump in and say things like "feels like rain momma".

This is truly a new discovery for me. I have been a gym goer for years and I have never felt the need to shower at there. I was always like "gross, why would I when I could just come home and do it there". Well, the answer is BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T HAVE CHILDREN THEN, BRAINIAC.

Best part is, you've showered and blow dried in peace, your kid is happy as a clam in high tide in the nursery, and you are revved and ready to go. You will be looking good, presentable and fresh on your rounds...target, grocery store, playgroup, coscto, home. rinse and repeat.

So there, you all can take this idea and run (or use the elliptical) with it too.

i heart 2 girls

There are the Doers and the Buyers

Mushy Post

Sole Mate

Kurkure

Why I love Tina Fey

I really f%&*@ it up this time

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

Necessity is the Momma of all Invention

Tortoise and the Hair

I'm really not angry

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

Thousand Word Thursday

First, Pluto's demotion, now this.

Not even gonna bore you....

I want to thank you, Halloween.

Wordless Ode to Bumbo

Athena-ism #492

Saylor had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb

Bag o' laughs

Waving White Flag

Luxurious Summer Activities for the two I heart...

Bad Assery at it's Finest

Horton Hears a Who?

Things I love about Houston, Texas

Bloggy Break, explained

Made in the Shade

She wants to lead.... the Glamorous Life......

Tell 'er

Talk to the Unicorns and Goldfish cuz the baby ain't listenin'

Are all mommy hobbies created equal?

Friend of mine, swear2god.

Trippin' with my homeboy

Michael Babysitting

Today's Top Ten

26 months

Flying Solo

Where there's a will, there's a way

Nuttin' Honey

Muffin Tops

She's a brainiac, brainiac on. the. floor.

Oreo Kidding?

What Christmas?

Low Down

Sweet 16

OMG

Omunky see Omunky do

'Sis different now

Peep Show and Tell

1st day of school's Power Lunch

Blowing Barbie

Eyebrow Seamstress

Epi(scream like a banshee)Lady

Two Thousand Word Thursday (on a friday)

FB etiquette

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

Wanna be a mommy or daddy? Try this.

Take 2

Yoo-hoo???....it's *still* a Beach

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

It's in the jeans

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Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

Big Love

Clown Bear Escentuals

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Blogging Hiatus

Bugaloo Giveaway 4 U

Massage, Mani/Pedi and an MRI

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

Cinco de Mayo

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Chocolatier's Profiling, 6 hrs a week

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

My IRL Conversations (while children are awake)

Godiva Giveaway

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

What a bright Ikea

Thousand Word Thursday (TWT)

Yoo-hoo???....it's still a Beach

Really? You're 15 months already? sniff

Two Thousand Word Thursday